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[–] HeyFattyBoomBoom 1 point 16 points (+17|-1) ago 

Ha! There was a massive one that worked with me that had a kid a few months before I had mine. She used to waddle around holding her gut trying to mimic the way women cradle their bump, but she looked no different to usual at all! I loved showing her up by zipping around the place, full of energy with my actual bump all out in front. She tried to talk to me about pregnant stuff; so tired, so hungry, sent my husband out for McDonalds at midnight teehee, etc. Could not relate at all and I told her so.

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[–] HateCumbuckets [S] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

An old neighbour, 10 yrs on still blaming baby weight. Had it's fupa surgically removed eventually.

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[–] SirNiggsalot 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Performed by a Fupa removal specialist.

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[–] Runway22L 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

That's hilarious, are they just so fast that a seven or eight pound baby doesn't even make a dent?

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[–] mmmmdonuts ago 

Yes. You couldn't even tell when my landwhale sister was pregnant when she was NINE months along.

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[–] TradRight14 ago 

Lol because of their gestational diabetes, it’s a 10lb baby, and an extra 10lbs of placenta and amneotic fluid.

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[–] Halalpork 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Haha that must've took a shot at it's poor lil self esteem.

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[–] i_scream_trucks 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

My sister got told she would have to lose weight to safely have a kid.

So she started CrossFit.

Now I have a beautiful niece.

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[–] Twodivinehipsters 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

That's good! Not being overweight is obviously ideal for pregnancy, but exercise is good for the baby. They end up so much smarter. It helps oxygen get to their brain.

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[–] BurnWithFire 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

But there's no room for the baby. O:

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[–] MeanMexican 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

It's even more hilarious than that, some show up at the emergency rooms for abdominal pain or what not and results they are going into labor

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[–] HateCumbuckets [S] ago 

It's these stories I thought of. I always wondered how that happened. Now I have seen how, first hand.

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[–] Deathbybetus 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

I think this is a job requirement where I work. If you get pregnant, you must already be fat so nobody can tell you're pregnant. That way nobody suspects you will be going out on extended leave and they'll get stuck covering your work.

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[–] Hamantha 1 point 0 points (+1|-1) ago 

I’m currently 35 weeks pregnant with my first, and there has been a huge boom in pregnancies in my town/circle of people I know.

I am the ONLY one who is actually showing. I literally look like my normal fit self with a basketball strapped to my front. These other cows are either as far along as me or even farther along, and other than the slightly fatter than usual cankles, you absolutely cannot tell they are pregnant or see a pregnant belly under all the blubber.

Honestly makes me sad for the fetus, being suffocated under all that fat. They claim the baby has “more room” compared to me, which is complete bullshit. If it were up to me, I’d call CPS on all of them for attempted murder on their unborn fetuses. Nah probably shouldn’t go that far, but if they fatten up their kids I see it as child abuse

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[–] itsALWAYStheBANKERS 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

It used to be gauche to imply someone was pregnant when they weren't.

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[–] chalma 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

What I get a kick out of is after they have the baby they always blame the pregnancy later on in life, as if they were skinnie minnies before

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[–] ETres 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Fuggin' great post, OP! I love the actual-life posts on FPH.

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