[–] 0fsgivin 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago (edited ago)
Well, im sure it does happen. But that is absolutely the exception not the rule.
And in most cases were dad seems to be doing great. The thing they fail at is not policing what the mom is supporting and sometimes the mom is giving support without the dad even knowing.
My dad was great. But the one thing he failed at was not standing up to my mother. He was classic boomer that thought he had to defer to his wife when it came to his kids. And now neither me nor my sister have been married or have kids.
And most people were surprised to learn my mom was abusive. People had no idea until she finally attacked my uncle's truck with a hatchet.
[–] SurfinMindWaves ago
And to be fair, if someone meets their spouse at an early age they often don't know how that person's beliefs will flesh out over the years. Hard to spot red flags if someone has been brought up in a family full of red flags. I believe genetics play a much larger role in people's personalities and choices than we are taught. Everything bad that happens is accounted toward nurture but I think we are hard-wired by our DNA combination to perceive the world in a certain way and react accordingly. It takes determination and self-examination to deviate from our predetermined programming if bad, or to cultivate what is good.
[–] 0fsgivin 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago (edited ago)
Most kids are blank fucking slates. Something has to be severely wrong for two good parents to have a fuckup kid.
Very few people are born pyschopaths or with sever emotional disorders and the like. It's again something like 2 or 3% of the population. Maybe another 2 or 3% are "borderline" in that it's tough and very easy for even good parents to not be able to cope with it.
I worked in a middle school. Very rarely...VERY rarely did teachers complain of problem children of good parents. It was always a rarity. And sometimes even in the 3 years they were there. That problem children with "good parents" we found out the parents were indeed the problem after all.
Look, IQ is mostly genetic, hell emotional issues are as well. Don't get me wrong. But it's just not that common for nature to kick out fuckups. It's not what it does. Sure it experiments and those experiments go wrong sometimes. But... nature doesn't "gamble" with as large of a population as you think.