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[–] SurfinMindWaves ago 

No, but I've not asked her for specifics about what she has said to her about it.

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[–] 0fsgivin 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Well, im sure it does happen. But that is absolutely the exception not the rule.

And in most cases were dad seems to be doing great. The thing they fail at is not policing what the mom is supporting and sometimes the mom is giving support without the dad even knowing.

My dad was great. But the one thing he failed at was not standing up to my mother. He was classic boomer that thought he had to defer to his wife when it came to his kids. And now neither me nor my sister have been married or have kids.

And most people were surprised to learn my mom was abusive. People had no idea until she finally attacked my uncle's truck with a hatchet.

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[–] SurfinMindWaves ago 

And to be fair, if someone meets their spouse at an early age they often don't know how that person's beliefs will flesh out over the years. Hard to spot red flags if someone has been brought up in a family full of red flags. I believe genetics play a much larger role in people's personalities and choices than we are taught. Everything bad that happens is accounted toward nurture but I think we are hard-wired by our DNA combination to perceive the world in a certain way and react accordingly. It takes determination and self-examination to deviate from our predetermined programming if bad, or to cultivate what is good.