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[–] goatboy 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago  (edited ago)

How I imagine the Briefing should have gone:

Master Sergent Hatemylife: "Sir, we estimate that in the US, 10950 people will die from drunk driving this year."

General Sitsatdesk: "Yes. That's terrible. Please continue."

Master Sergent Hatemylife: "Yes, Sir. 366,800 will die from heart disease."

General Sitsatdesk: "Yeah, fatties need to PT. haha."

Master Sergent Hatemylife: "...and 17200 will die from from alcohol related plane crashes."

General Sitsatdesk: "Let's get those new "8 Hours Bottle to Throttle" posters up in the Officer's Club by the end of the week."

Master Sergent Hatemylife: "Yes... Sir..."

General Sitsatdesk: "Is there anything else Master Sergent?"

...shuffles through papers...

Master Sergent Hatemylife: "...ahhh. Not really Sir. We did get a report that some ugly and unintelligent virgins were online and gave their group a name... Incels... It means involuntary celibates."

General Sitsatdesk: "Incels? Are they a terrorist group?"

Master Sergent Hatemylife: "No Sir. They just can't get laid."

General Sitsatdesk: "Are they likely to become a terrorist group?"

Master Sergent Hatemylife: "No... I mean, one of them did shoot up a Sorority once and killed 3 or 4 people, but he probably just skipped his medication or something."

General Sitsatdesk: "A SORORITY! MY GOD MAN! GET ME THE PRESIDENT!"

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[–] kingdomhearts123 ago 

Marylanders are a pack of fish worshipping commie faggots.

Marylanders eat babies and then 7 hours later they eat their own turds so they can say they ate double the number of babies.

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[–] Diggernicks ago 

That makes no sense

U wot m8?

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[–] kingdomhearts123 ago 

Maryland. The hammer will fall there.

Because they worship fish gods. fishy fishy fish gods.