[–] goatboy 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago (edited ago)
How I imagine the Briefing should have gone:
Master Sergent Hatemylife: "Sir, we estimate that in the US, 10950 people will die from drunk driving this year."
General Sitsatdesk: "Yes. That's terrible. Please continue."
Master Sergent Hatemylife: "Yes, Sir. 366,800 will die from heart disease."
General Sitsatdesk: "Yeah, fatties need to PT. haha."
Master Sergent Hatemylife: "...and 17200 will die from from alcohol related plane crashes."
General Sitsatdesk: "Let's get those new "8 Hours Bottle to Throttle" posters up in the Officer's Club by the end of the week."
Master Sergent Hatemylife: "Yes... Sir..."
General Sitsatdesk: "Is there anything else Master Sergent?"
...shuffles through papers...
Master Sergent Hatemylife: "...ahhh. Not really Sir. We did get a report that some ugly and unintelligent virgins were online and gave their group a name... Incels... It means involuntary celibates."
General Sitsatdesk: "Incels? Are they a terrorist group?"
Master Sergent Hatemylife: "No Sir. They just can't get laid."
General Sitsatdesk: "Are they likely to become a terrorist group?"
Master Sergent Hatemylife: "No... I mean, one of them did shoot up a Sorority once and killed 3 or 4 people, but he probably just skipped his medication or something."
General Sitsatdesk: "A SORORITY! MY GOD MAN! GET ME THE PRESIDENT!"
[–] kingdomhearts123 ago
Marylanders are a pack of fish worshipping commie faggots.
Marylanders eat babies and then 7 hours later they eat their own turds so they can say they ate double the number of babies.
[–] Diggernicks ago
That makes no sense
U wot m8?
[–] kingdomhearts123 ago
Maryland. The hammer will fall there.
Because they worship fish gods. fishy fishy fish gods.