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[–] HippyHoney [S] 0 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago 

Fatty fb friend was bitching about a very reasonable and understandable rule that there is a weight limit for skydiving. Apparently this ruined her birthday.

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[–] HamplanetsEatShit 0 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago 

Fatty was lucky to make it to its birthday.

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[–] Skinny_Barbie 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

It ruined her birthday? I'd bet my last dollar it didn't ruin her appetite.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] Skinny_Barbie 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

What a beautiful visual!

We just have to make sure to drop them in the desert. Or the ocean. Anywhere that humans will not be potential victims when they crash.

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[–] Mass_Eject 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

We just don't want them hitting the earth at all. Possible extinction level event.

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[–] uvulectomy 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Desert = they crater and kick up a sand/dust storm that chokes half a continent to death.

Ocean = the resulting tsunami makes Fukushima look tame.

Just leave them in the middle of nowhere. They'll either become human and make it out, or their massive carcass will sustain the ecosystem for decades to come.

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[–] eldorann 1 point 17 points (+18|-1) ago 

Let the fatties hit the ground,

Let the fatties hit the ground,

Let the fatties hit the ground,

Now what's the problem here?

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[–] EffYourDuckAss 0 points 17 points (+17|-0) ago 

The problem is that novices tend to tandem skydive so a cannonball is likely to take out their instructor.

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[–] Skinny_Barbie 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

My plan is in its infancy. Definitely must protect the non fats.

We'd need to have a non tethered instructor and /or some sort of quick release option.

As for cleaning it up? I guess we'll have to go with the ocean of somewhere where wild animals can deal with it.

I will postpone filing for my LLC until these issues are settled.

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[–] TJFash 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

You think it would be all, the equipment is the problem, it wasn't my weight that caused the parachute cords to snap, right before it hit the earth like a comet?

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[–] Skinny_Barbie 0 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago 

That was my initial response.

But we live in litigious times.

If it were up to me I would encourage them to jump out of planes anytime they choose. I'd say skip the harness if that's what they wish. . And the heck with rules and weight limits. Let them do intuitive diving. And don't embarrass them about weight. Or participate in any sort of training. Let them lay about the the lounge and eat Cheetos while the able bodied receive safety tips. After doing everything to cater to them the only rule would be that they must jump, or be pushed from the plane

Oh, and my company would be called, DDD.

Deathfat Diving Disposal

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[–] 18003624? 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

The mess. You wanna clean it up?

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[–] Gayzmcgee 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

"....GROOOUUUUUNNNDDDAAHHHH.....

LET THE FATTIES HIT THE GROUND,

LET THE FATTIES HIT THE GROUND,

LET THE FATTIES HIT THE GROUND,

GRRRRRRRAAHH!!!"

(to the tune of https://www.invidio.us/watch?v=04F4xlWSFh0)

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[–] HippyHoney [S] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

This song was playing during my workout today. Thought of this comment lol.

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[–] 18003676? 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Even with a chute, you fall at some slightly crazy speed. I have 18ft/sec in my head for some reason, though could be wrong.

Say goodbye to your knees if you're a lardarse.

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[–] omwtohuman 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

my smallfat grandpa went skydiving a few decades ago, didn’t land right (dont know how exactly but it had something to do with his knees), and broke his lower back. all i’m surprised at is that he didn’t gain even more weight when he was incapacitated from his injury.

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[–] CowboyDancer 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

This is fucking awesome. Every business should surcharge like this just to punish fatfucks. Especially restaurants.

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[–] TheStapler 0 points 25 points (+25|-0) ago 

Rename this sub for a day to

Unreasonably Proportioned People Hate

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[–] HippyHoney [S] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Lmao

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[–] ScheissGraefin 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

"We don't want you to fall down like a brick and die, so we have a weight limit"

"REEEEEEEE you fatphobes!!!!"

Bet if there was no weight limit and all the obeasts were dying while skydiving, fatties would reee just as much. They'll never be happy, so why even try?

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[–] mmmmdonuts 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

"Ok, go ahead then, and just sign this waiver please before ya go."

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[–] GutterTrash 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

First they hated the word "Normal body" type, then they hated "skinny," and now they hate "reasonably proportioned." We should cut to the chase and redefine slender body type as "NOT an unfuckable lard ass"

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