[–] 17325937? 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago (edited ago)
You are doing a great job mate. Try writing it the way you would want to hear it. The way you would like to hear it delivered by someone else from a stage, with a microphone. I write mine in short 4 line stanza's, and rhyme the last word/s of the 2nd and 4th lines. eg
The missile hit him in the chest,
And it made complete the farce.
Because it drove him back a yard or two,
And sat him squarely on his arse.
Laying bruised and badly beaten,
His breath a ragged hiss.
The poor bugger was covered head to toe,
In the paper and the piss.
Good luck friend, keep going, the sillier the better and more smiles on the faces of your listeners.
[–] 17316715? 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago (edited ago)
John Milton, (1608-1674) "Paradise Lost", from Book 2, Part 2
For Cori Samuel's exquisite reading:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lvskKAUo6XY 29 min 32 sec
-
Satan was now at hand, and from his seat
The Monster moving onward came as fast
With horrid strides, Hell trembled as he strode.
Th' undaunted Fiend what this might be admir'd,
Admir'd, not fear'd; God and his Son except,
Created thing naught valu'd he nor shun'd
And with disdainful look thus first began.
-
Whence and what art thou, execrable shape,
That dar'st, though grim and terrible, advance
Thy miscreated Front athwart my way
To yonder Gates? through them I mean to pass,
That be assured, without leave askt of thee:
Retire, or taste thy folly, and learn by proof,
Hell-born, not to contend with Spirits of Heav'n.
-
To whom the Goblin full of wrauth reply'd,
Art thou that Traitor Angel, art thou hee,
Who first broke peace in Heav'n and Faith, till then
Unbrok'n, and in proud rebellious Arms
Drew after him the third part of Heav'ns Sons
Conjur'd against the highest, for which both Thou
And they outcast from God, are here condemn'd
To waste Eternal dayes in woe and pain?
[–] 17327034? [S] 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
In a world free of coincidences, try playing around with haiku format. 17 syllables(!) 5-7-5 non rhyming. I believe you have it in you to give it a try and would love to hear one. There is no doing it wrong, just breath and believe. -example-
A meme no picture
Big Idea packaged tightly
New way for pilling
-example2-
Podesta art sick
A demon possesses
Protect innocent
[–] 17317165? 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Reign of Clowns is done
Country no longer for sale
Awake and winning
[–] 17322826? [S] 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Nice. 17 syllables. Thank you so much for this. Every great movement in history has been immortalized in poetry, this one should be too.
[–] 17342875? [S] ago
Mind if I use this elsewhere? I'm trying to compile a collection of poems from the great awakening for posterity's sake.