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[–] 1Icemonkey ago 

Fat assistant manager, no fuggging way!

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[–] PenguinOrgy ago 

Even this made up garbage they've been thinking about for days is lame.

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[–] PhilKDick ago 

"I love your sass." Notice it wasn't "I love your fat ass."

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[–] dainasaur 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

“Kitten has claws”

I actually full-body shuddered. Why do female fats always do that? I’ve seen so many obeasts on FetLife wearing cat ears and claiming to be sex kittens. No. That is not for you. Fuck off forever.

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[–] SlowResponseTime 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

This assumes kids today would say Shamu by name and not just whale and would use it as an insult, but calling someone a Shamu instead of a whale is dated. That would not happen today, at least I've never heard it, and I work with kids. It smacks of a fat middle aged woman putting words in a younger person's mouth, the whole story does. I'm surprised no one came in at the end to put a "Quippy Witty Retort Queen" sash on her....maybe the community couldn't find a big enough sash.

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[–] GutterTrash 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Good lord. Is this their equivalent of 4chan's green text stories? 4chans stories are fake and exaggerated but had a great level of craft compared to this dribble.

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[–] CosmoMcKinley 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Then Jason Momoa appeared, beat the boys senseless, gave her two hundred dollar bills and the shagging of her life.

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[–] Carsandsarcasm 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

Where is the insult, though? Unless he was black, there is no stigma or common insult around calling someone a monkey. We know he wasn't black either because a Tumblr SJW would be kissing the ground he walked if he was black. A better insult would be to say the zoo hasn't noticed Shamu escaped "because they are all as stupid as you" or something. This is a non-insult.

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