[–] OhTheHamanatee 1 point 4 points 5 points (+5|-1) ago
Kitten
Fucking species dysmorphia. Useless greasy whale.
[–] wildSHITLORDappeared 1 point 3 points 4 points (+4|-1) ago
The best part is the dumb whale admitted it was a whale.
[–] Carsandsarcasm 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
Where is the insult, though? Unless he was black, there is no stigma or common insult around calling someone a monkey. We know he wasn't black either because a Tumblr SJW would be kissing the ground he walked if he was black. A better insult would be to say the zoo hasn't noticed Shamu escaped "because they are all as stupid as you" or something. This is a non-insult.
[–] CosmoMcKinley 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
Then Jason Momoa appeared, beat the boys senseless, gave her two hundred dollar bills and the shagging of her life.
[–] GutterTrash 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Good lord. Is this their equivalent of 4chan's green text stories? 4chans stories are fake and exaggerated but had a great level of craft compared to this dribble.
[–] SlowResponseTime 0 points 9 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago
This assumes kids today would say Shamu by name and not just whale and would use it as an insult, but calling someone a Shamu instead of a whale is dated. That would not happen today, at least I've never heard it, and I work with kids. It smacks of a fat middle aged woman putting words in a younger person's mouth, the whole story does. I'm surprised no one came in at the end to put a "Quippy Witty Retort Queen" sash on her....maybe the community couldn't find a big enough sash.
[–] satisfyinghump 0 points 11 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago
There is so much satisfaction, from doing this in person. Meaning, if you are unlucky enough to work with an orca who lies, waiting for her to finish the story in the middle of lunch and calmly replying "none of that happened. That story is fake." Brings some of the most satisfying anger ever felt!
[–] CognitiveDissident5 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Sounds like you're speaking from experience