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[–] wildSHITLORDappeared 1 point 3 points (+4|-1) ago 

The best part is the dumb whale admitted it was a whale.

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[–] CognitiveDissident5 ago 

Pathetic

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[–] OhTheHamanatee 1 point 4 points (+5|-1) ago 

Kitten

Fucking species dysmorphia. Useless greasy whale.

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[–] satisfyinghump 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

There is so much satisfaction, from doing this in person. Meaning, if you are unlucky enough to work with an orca who lies, waiting for her to finish the story in the middle of lunch and calmly replying "none of that happened. That story is fake." Brings some of the most satisfying anger ever felt!

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[–] CognitiveDissident5 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Sounds like you're speaking from experience

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[–] Warnos44 0 points 17 points (+17|-0) ago 

Ew. She thinks she's a kitten. The mental gymnastics.

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[–] racistbadger 3 points -1 points (+2|-3) ago 

i dunno, my cat is pretty fucking fat. all she does is eat sleep and complain whenever nobody is paying enough attention to her. she also gets winded after about 2 minutes of activity. it sounds like a pretty accurate comparison.

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[–] WD_Pelley ago 

Stop feeding your cat lasagna, John.

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[–] aretemis 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

Take better care of your cat, damn.

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[–] CheeseboogerHimself 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Then the seal climbed up on a rock and started clapping profusely going AR AR AR!

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[–] CognitiveDissident5 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Are you the real cheesebooger or another imposter?

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[–] CheeseboogerHimself 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

How many have there been, and why? lol I am the real deal. I already proved it to Gabara and TheBuddha. I uploaded a song to the Friday Night Guitar Sub. It's me. You still fighting the good fight of South Africa?

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[–] Anam 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Where 'without missing a beat' actually means 15 minutes after they left.

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[–] Gigglestick 1 point 30 points (+31|-1) ago 

No, it happened.

In her head, 5 hours later, while she was eating her feelings.

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[–] WD_Pelley 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

The French call this "staircase wit" but we all know that the fatty hates stairs.

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[–] nobslob 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

My fakometer was pegged at 12/10 for this one too. My instincts are saying it was at least a 2 liter of beetus and a family sized bag of cheetos to soothe the angry beast. I'm also sensing some corn dogs, and chips with gas station nacho "cheese".

I am the fat whisperer.

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[–] CosmoMcKinley 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I think that there were two family sized bags of Cheetos. One was consumed while driving to the gas station, one on the way back.

Incidentally, does anyone else have to suppress an eye roll when they see the current state of "family sized" food products? They're way off. These days that's snack sized for the waddlers. Family sized would barely fit in the trunk of a '59 Plymouth Fury.

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