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[–] satisfyinghump 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

There is so much satisfaction, from doing this in person. Meaning, if you are unlucky enough to work with an orca who lies, waiting for her to finish the story in the middle of lunch and calmly replying "none of that happened. That story is fake." Brings some of the most satisfying anger ever felt!

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[–] CognitiveDissident5 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Sounds like you're speaking from experience

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[–] Warnos44 0 points 17 points (+17|-0) ago 

Ew. She thinks she's a kitten. The mental gymnastics.

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[–] racistbadger 3 points -1 points (+2|-3) ago 

i dunno, my cat is pretty fucking fat. all she does is eat sleep and complain whenever nobody is paying enough attention to her. she also gets winded after about 2 minutes of activity. it sounds like a pretty accurate comparison.

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[–] WD_Pelley ago 

Stop feeding your cat lasagna, John.

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[–] aretemis 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

Take better care of your cat, damn.

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[–] Gigglestick 1 point 30 points (+31|-1) ago 

No, it happened.

In her head, 5 hours later, while she was eating her feelings.

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[–] WD_Pelley 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

The French call this "staircase wit" but we all know that the fatty hates stairs.

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[–] nobslob 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

My fakometer was pegged at 12/10 for this one too. My instincts are saying it was at least a 2 liter of beetus and a family sized bag of cheetos to soothe the angry beast. I'm also sensing some corn dogs, and chips with gas station nacho "cheese".

I am the fat whisperer.

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[–] CosmoMcKinley 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I think that there were two family sized bags of Cheetos. One was consumed while driving to the gas station, one on the way back.

Incidentally, does anyone else have to suppress an eye roll when they see the current state of "family sized" food products? They're way off. These days that's snack sized for the waddlers. Family sized would barely fit in the trunk of a '59 Plymouth Fury.

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[–] vasilissa 0 points 33 points (+33|-0) ago  (edited ago)

from what i see they're i think you're english could need some work.