The bullying you experience at school sounds like some sort of social experiment. Especially since the counselor also didn't give a fuck about how you were feeling. She was merely reporting the results of the experiment, and probably glad they managed to fuck you up.
This whole thing reminds me of our situation in society now. Others are doing the bullying (raping, violence), but conservative White men get blamed for being disruptive (racist, evil, violent).
I went to a regular school here in Finland, so I have no experiences to match yours, but there was some mind fuckery there too. I used be quite good at doing math equations in my head. During tests I would sometimes just write the answer without writing the whole process on the paper, but the teacher said I have to write the whole equation. I thought it was somehow dirty or invasive to show my thinking process on the paper, but I did it. And I guess that wasn't a big deal. But as I said, I was quite good at doing calculations in my head, but they forced me to use a calculator, and eventually it ruined any math talent I used to have. I certainly was never any kind of prodigy in math, and I didn't like math, but I was above average.
The bullying you experience at school sounds like some sort of social experiment. Especially since the counselor also didn't give a fuck about how you were feeling. She was merely reporting the results of the experiment, and probably glad they managed to fuck you up.
This whole thing reminds me of our situation in society now. Others are doing the bullying (raping, violence), but conservative White men get blamed for being disruptive (racist, evil, violent).
THAT'S IT! THAT'S MY ENTIRE EARLY SCHOOL YEARS!
Even my parents described it as "they only see your reaction" at the time, never doubting when I described the bullying aimed at me. Yet only I was ever punished, the bullies just got away with it. Every fucking time. Well, not in the long run, they've since gotten theirs, but at the time… I could understand the school shooters but I saw the school itself as the problem, not my classmates.
blogpost redacted to avoid dox risk
Fuck I never thought about the bullying and discrimination from the teachers
I never recognized it until now. But it happened to me, too.
did anyone have childhood fears of general MK Ultra shit? Every time something like that would come up in a cartoon I would be overcome with absolute fear.
No fear, but, now that I think of it, a bizarre interest in that type of conspiracy theory. My dad let me read all the books I wanted, but I remember somehow knowing to never speak of those. A strange-as-fuck interest for that age, too, now that I think about it.
The way I see it they have one of two goals with "gifted children"
- create autistic super soldiers
or
- (most likely scenario) they were trying to inhibit those who would have the most potential to be an autistic super soldier.
Or both. Two competing factions. I may have been in a place where the dominant faction kept changing. Sucks to be (((faction 2))) if the leads I've got now pan out. Thanks, Paperclip.
Another theme that was present in these threads was that most of us had a feeling that we were born to become something much greater, to become ubermensch, to reach out for the stars. Then something … changed and we ended up being largely disappointed. Some anons posted theories how we were programmed for space colonization through certain media but something didn't go according to plan.
I think I know that plan and I think I know (((what))) (((changed))) too.
The calculator thing is less about making you an idiot or whatever shady shit the GATEniggers were up to and more because the maths becomes less about learning and familiarizing yourself with basic arrithmatic (which is why you got in trouble for using a calculator in primrary school; you needed to intuitively understand + and - and whatnot) and more about different ways to use basic arrithmatic. This means that a) they no longer give a fuck how quickly you can solve 420X69 in your head and b) the class will complete the work faster and therefore learn more by using calculators.
Back in elementary school, we had a thing called the "Mad Minute" where students were given a sheet of paper with basic arithmetic problems and told to solve as many as the possibly could within 60 seconds. High scores were rewarded with bonus points, and a near-perfect score provided a small bag of candy on the last day of school. In third grade (age 8), before GATE, I was so good at the Mad Minute that the teachers actually had to stop rewarding me with future bags of candy – I had already earned more than I could possibly eat. Fast forward two years later and I could hardly even solve a fifth of the Mad Minute sheets. My mental organization had deteriorated to the point that I had lost the ability to solve most simple math problems with high confidence.
I've experienced paranoia, depression and most importantly, BRAIN FOG, ever since.
I know exactly what you're going through and would recommend that you immediately consider improving your diet, exercising, and fasting, not an intermittent fast, but the whole nine yards. 15 days. Repent, and pray.
As someone who suffered from every single symptom you described and then some I can tell you the intrusive thoughts nearly vanished when I fasted. For the first time in years I had complete control over my mind, and I was at peace.
Repent, and pray.
Fuck this.
Start keeping a dream diary notebook next to your bed. Record the date, how you felt before laying down to sleep, the moon cycle (to encourage awareness), and if your efforts were successful (if you remembered anything. If you fail to recollect, write: I chose not to remember my dreams today.
Start doing silent mind meditations, where you push away all thoughts from your mind (as if your mind is a genuine place, where things can occupy space in it) and sit in absolute silence.
Religion is useful to those who do not want to see things for what they are. If you choose to self actualize fully, you can protect the things that matter to you in ways that you now think are superhuman.
I wish someone told me this a decade ago.
The Truth will set you free - But ignorance is the easy way.
I've tried paleo dieting paired with weight-lifting for about a couple of months and noticed an improvement in my general health, but most of the mental duress was unaffected. The only thing that has helped cognitively was Vyvanse/Concerta, but I can't stand taking drugs for a marginal increase in my mental efficiency.
I suspect that the outcomes of my experience with the GATE program imparted some kind of irreversible brain damage, tbqhwyf.
[–] 16327295? ago
Fuck I never thought about the bullying and discrimination from the teachers… About two years before I told them to fuck off and I'm not taking anymore tests my 4th grade teacher accused me of cheating and ruining the curve for the math final. Because I didn't show any of my work on long division, and achieved a perfect test score.
Not only did she tell the whole class it was my fault everyone else got only as high as a B because I cheated, but she called a conference with my parents to attempt to poison my relationship. This backfire spectacularly when my father (who had been working with me on math because it's my favorite subject of study) suggested she give me an pop quiz with everything there, and me solving the problems on the chalk-board.
Once again I achieved a perfect score without showing my work. Her tone never changed. Even though I had just proven I wasn't a cheater she actually started treating me worse because I proved her wrong.
She never told the class the truth, and within months the niggers started trying to bully me to the point that when I finally retaliated I sent the biggest nigger to the hospital with big bloody nigger lips.
The other thing I remember was these "Iowa Basic Skills Tests" that I would routinely score in the top 1-2% of the USA in science and math.
FUCK. THESE. PEOPLE. SO. HARD.
[–] 16686864? ago
I had issues with my 4th grade teacher as well. I got perfect marks throughout the entirety of my schooling beforehand (including 4th grade), and my teacher had the audacity to tell my parents things such as "I don't like to think", or other vague yet demeaning remarks. It felt remarkably similar to bullying that I did nothing to deserve. This was also about the same time I started attending GATE classes, back in 2001-2003.
[–] 16686872? ago
Interesting, I also had trouble with my 4th grade teacher. I wonder if it's because as a boy you start acting more mature and less like a toddler? The cunt was an obvious man-hating dyke, looking back on it.
Not the worst idea ever. I'm kind of tied up rewiring the world political structure though, and I've been using my energy on much bigger things than being annoying to some individual kike. For anyone who wanted to try it, it's not a bad experiment though.
>>12756614
We haven't figured it out yet, but it's a bit startling. It's possible we're in an afterlife holding cell for drowned kids, which, if true, should mean we can rewrite the entire thing like a lucid dream. Let's try that, right? See if it works out.