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[–] 16331159? ago 

That sucks, man. I feel you.

I believe it is possible to change. It's just tedious because results take time.

I cut my diet down to rice and beef, because it's a guaranteed clear mind for me, with a variety of other things in moderation. I'll have to try that fasting, too.

I believe it is possible to rehabilitate your mental functions through competitive games. I took up playing DotA when I realized I could tell which part of my mind was engaged when I played. Am I thinking and predicting, or am I feeling and reacting? Am I planning or am I reliving? Do I really understand what happened and should go to the next game, or am I avoiding the memory of failure and should watch the replay? Did I rage? Raging only hinders team performance. What could I have done to resolve the situation? What could I have done to win, from hero selection, to communication, to the end? What are the professional styles of play? What low tier pub styles have I seen or can make up for myself to win games? Should I be watching better players right now or should I be resting and posting on 8ch?

I know games sound like a waste of time, but it was all I could do before. I could play for many hours, slipping this rehab in. Now I can read books by my own choosing without feeling that fucking burning in my mind.

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[–] 16336250? ago 

Interesting. I was also in GT at a school in Austin. My parents thought I was very bright, but one of my teachers would consistently get angry at me in her class. I did a lot of dumb kid stuff because I was oblivious that it was bod or did it by accident, but she insisted to my parents that I did it on purpose for attention. They knew I wasn't but they had me take a neuropsych exam to see if I had add or other cognitive disabilities. The report came back that I had add and some other neuro issues but it also said that I tested in the supirior category for intelligence. I can't remember if this was before or after I got into GT. I took their test and fell just short of the border to get in, but my mom pushed for it. Oddly enough I have little memory of GT all together. I remember the first day pretty well, a fun project we did, and 5th grade GT where they would talk to us about think tanks and pushing us to work in them, but I think it's weird that a large chunk of it is missing from memory.

On another note, did anyone have childhood fears of general MK Ultra shit? Every time something like that would come up in a cartoon I would be overcome with absolute fear. I had a big fear of the government, aliens, or psychiatric wards, but I have no clue where it stems from.

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[–] 16349292? ago 

>>12709688

this makes me think of some "HALO spartan program" type shit, where they steal kids and augment their minds and bodies to be super soldaten. In a cinematic clip from HALO 4 it talks about how the spartans exhibit "mild sociopathic tendencies" and "difficulty in socialization" and "efficient behavior in hazardous situations" and the interrogator guy makes mention that master chief "was at his core, broken" and mentions "lack of basic humanity"

What if all of this media is just subliminal programming? it is

The way I see it they have one of two goals with "gifted children"

  1. create autistic super soldiers

or

  1. (most likely scenario) they were trying to inhibit those who would have the most potential to be an autistic super soldier.

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[–] 16370727? ago 

Who's to say they didn't create autistic soldiers that don't question where their orders come from and have all the traits listed?

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[–] 16370728? ago 

who's to say /pol/ isn't where we receive our training and eventually orders?

a hurtbox that puts your soul to the ultimate test (years of blackpill)

just imagine the righteous anger and violence that could be unleashed from this place when the opportunity is given

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[–] 16399341? ago 

not possible as the autist personality type is naturally one of a curious nature which = questioning. it wouldn't hold up. only a brain dead zombie could do that, but then again a brain dead zombie isn't really good for anything, so it's kind of a null point

>>12717810

perhaps he's wondering why someone would ruin a mans life, before throwing him in with NatSocs?

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[–] 16399379? ago 

Secondly, I was visited several times by a female scientist who worked with NASA. This scientist was pulling students in the GATE program out of class one by one, and showing them boxes of dirt.

Protip, she wasn't from NASA.

I remember this same kind of weird interview shit from when I was in elementary school sewardanon from archives, kind of funny to see so many of us back here again, except for me it was a random selection of students with intentionally varying abilities - a disabled kid or two, myself and another gifted student, and a few normal kids - who were interviewed by some (((suited guy))). My school was extremely abusive as well, but in different ways, and it wasn't severe in the same way as your experience was. My first grade teacher was the wife of the warden of the state prison across the bay, and honestly she probably could have done his job better than even he did, given how psychotic she was. Cunt wanted to drug me for "ADHD" claiming I was retarded, and my mom immediately threatened a lawsuit because she wasn't actually certified to be a teacher in the first place. My gifted instructor for some reason saw something distinct in me, and separated me from the other four students and put me on an even more advanced course schedule with a lot of self-guided learning; I remember being introduced to physics and biology subjects way beyond my grade level, and was encouraged to speculate about alien life not ayyliums, but actual xenobiology stuff. I also got the typical zener card "memory game" shit that some other anons report from GATE programs, and the same weird questioning using hypotheticals. I was pulled out of there after two years to be homeschooled, but was traumatized for a couple years by some near death experiences I had there, all involving strangling. I recovered from whatever fuckery that happened mostly because I already had redpilled parents, and I'm sorry to hear how badly it's affected you, anon. I suppose at this point, we're all in this together.