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[–] Icarus2 ago 

My grandmother used to say that she'd pulled a boner when she was talking about a mistake she made. It made me cringe every time.

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[–] zen_music ago 

"There's two ways to do everything. Perfect, and not good enough."

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[–] biggyboppy 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Whenever my grandma gives us grandkids money she always says "Don't spend it or lose it but have a good time." I have never known what it means but it has an amazing rhythm to it.

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[–] Thunderbastard 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Growing up, my grandfather would call my cousins and I a "wampus kitty" out of affection. To this day, I still have no idea what the hell a wampus kitty is.

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[–] NorthSouthPosition [S] ago 

Could they be a distant relative of the wampa from Star Wars?

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[–] Thunderbastard 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

A wampa mixed with a big cat... mother of God, that's scary as hell.

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[–] Greysage 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

It's a turn on the phrase "kattywampus" which means awkward or unorganized. My gramps always had a cat he called Wampus.

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[–] Thunderbastard ago 

Well hell, didn't even think of that. All these years and I never thought of making that connection.

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[–] BunyipMoan ago 

No matter where you are, no matter who you be, always let your fart fly free

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[–] eliminatorboatduel ago 

My grandmother said something was "elite" the other day. Did not know how to respond.

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[–] Kaysic ago 

"I used to walk eight miles to school, uphill both ways, into the wind, every day."

Relevant only if it will forever be the standard "You kids have it easy these days" dad complaint.

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[–] Feeds_On_Vegans ago 

Must be a local adaptation here. In Canada I've always heard, "Walk 5 miles to school, uphill both ways in 3 ft of snow."

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[–] Kaysic 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

My dad uses snow, but I know it's a circumstantial element of the expression so I omitted it.

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[–] Feeds_On_Vegans 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I've got an interesting family, but here are the top 3 that I can think of at the moment.

  • My great grandmother on nudity: "If they haven't seen it before they won't know what it is, and if they have it's nothing new."
  • My steps mom's dad: "Jumped up, gerry-eyed Jeeesus CHRIST!" His favorite curse. Not sure why I always loved that one, but it's just got such a ring to it.
  • My embittered father after his first divorce: "If it flies, floats or fucks rent it, it's cheaper." As a divorced man who has spent the majority of his life dealing with boats, helicopters and fixed wing aircraft, I find this increasingly hard to refute.
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