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[–] tiktok1 [S] 2 points 5 points (+7|-2) ago 

At a family gathering, casually ask your cousins "Where's Uncle Slippyfinger?" Whoever they point at, that's your guy.

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[–] 14449574? 2 points 0 points (+2|-2) ago 

That my grandfather was a war hero.

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[–] Artofchoke 1 point 2 points (+3|-1) ago 

Make it anon and I'll tell you. :)

[–] [deleted] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] Artofchoke 1 point 1 point (+2|-1) ago 

Scandalous motherfuckers. People act shocked when they find out I've got no blood family connections.
They're "wild Indians". If you don't maintain a WIDE DISTANCE you risk being sucked in.

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[–] Eurocuckistan 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

That the only reason I never met most of my dad's family (..when I was young) is because they were literally nazis. To this day, they still adore Hitler. Most of their ancestors died in Russia. May their souls rest in peace forever.

You probably know which family I ended up siding with.

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[–] lalamusa 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

I believe that comedian was Bill Burr.

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[–] Itty-bitty_Tity-trap ago 

My dad didn't molest me :(

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[–] bluntripkin 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

that uncle joey from full house was the real father to all the kids in that house

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[–] Plavonica 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

"Member for 2 days"

Nice try FBI.

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