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[–] Murse_Pat 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Have you tried DBT? I've seen really positive results it terms of mindfulness and a greater internal sense of control of emotions.

Do you find yourself wishing you experienced emotions/emotional reactions more traditionally, or do you value the different emotional perspective that comes with BPD?

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[–] foxyface [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I did DBT in my IOPs. I found it very helpful and highly suggest it to anyone and everyone! While I do love DBT, I found that it didn't really get to the root of why the disorder came about. Borderline typically develops due to some kind of extreme trauma [emotional/psychological/physical] and I am now doing Transfocused Psychotherapy that really breaks down patterns and figuring out where/why they started.

I never really thought about what it would be like to experience emotions more traditionally. I guess I don't even really know what that would be like because I have always had my extreme perceptions. One upside to being so emotionally sensitive is that I have very good emotional intuition when it comes to others and am really good at giving gifts, writing moving messages in cards, and giving pep talks. I don't think I would want to change how I experience emotions because even though it can be so brutal at times, it definitely is a big part of who I am. :)

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[–] butyeah 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

How did the doctors finally figure out that the medication they were giving you was wrong?

Also, how would you describe your condition in your own words?

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[–] foxyface [S] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

The doctor that prescribed me with the medication, Risperidone/Risperdal, that turned me into a zombie refused to listen to my objections. Looking back, I think she may have been in over her head and gave me something that was far too strong in my case. I was on other meds at the time, including another antipsychotic, and decided to started tapering myself off of the risperdal. I have learned the hard way, multiple times, that you should NEVER stop taking your meds without guidance from your doctor, but it was my [potentially dangerous] way of getting her attention. She finally started to work with me to find another combo of meds that didn't include the risperdal. I stopped seeing her shortly after that... she wasn't the best doctor. I think that I am finally on the right combo of meds and its been almost 10 years since I started seeking professional help.

I think people with Borderline experience themselves differently, but for me the dissociative aspect is what can be most disturbing at times. I feel like I am on another plane of reality that is almost, but not quite, in line with everyone else. It's just slightly askew. I don't feel tethered to myself as a whole, to others, or even experiences or memories. Due to parts of my childhood, I have difficulty forming and maintaining real, substantial friendships which leaves me feeling very lonely. My biggest fear is being alone, but yet I have such difficulty with forming any deep connections. I do have an amazing boyfriend, to whom I am fiercely loyal and very much in love with.

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[–] Reynollo ago 

What advice do you have for the friends/family of people diagnosed with a personality disorder?

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[–] foxyface [S] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

My advice would be to encourage your loved one to add a professional to their support system. Because of the nature of personality disorders and how ingrained the traits are, family and friends can only do so much. And while the support a professional can offer is vital, the type of support family/friends offer is also invaluable. I would say that friends/family should prepare to have their patience tested and be committed to boundaries that they establish with their loved one. I think it is very important to set clear boundaries and hold them accountable for crossing them, each and every time. Consistency and communication are both very important. Also, I could imagine that it must be very hard to see your loved one struggle, but they have to find their own way and they have to want to do the work and make the changes. Don't blame yourself for their missteps, they are not your fault and you can not make the decisions for them. Just be there to remind them that they are capable of pushing through and getting back on track. It will take time, but it will definitely be worth it, for both sides.

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[–] Anabee15 ago 

What's been the most difficult thing to convey to your friends and family, if anything, with regards to your diagnosis, how they should and should not treat you, etc?

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[–] foxyface [S] ago 

I think that the most difficult thing to convey, in general, is the gnawing emptiness I often feel and the dissociation. Sometimes I can even physically feel the emptiness, as if I am just a shell and there is a cavernous void at the core of my being. It is had to tell anyone that cares about you that you feel like that, especially if you can't give them a concrete reason why.

Patience and understanding is very key. I think that the best way for others to treat me has also been the hardest for me. My boyfriend is very understanding but will also hold me accountable for my actions. Instead of just letting me wiggle my way out of it, he helps me realize that I was being irrational or I overreacted. We've learned through trial and error that it is most helpful after I've calmed down a bit. It is hard but I want to get everything under control so I am willing to look my faults in the eye and make changes. Even though my parents mean well, they completely baby me and feed into the perception I have of myself as helpless and fragile which is my comfort zone. Although it definitely feels good, I think their lack of boundaries has made it difficult to change at times. I've gotten away with so much and them not stepping and saying that its not ok allows me to rationalize my slip ups.

[–] [deleted] ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] foxyface [S] ago 

I take prozac, lamictal, mirtazapine and adderall