[–] zombieman 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Where I used to work, a guy came in to get his paycheck and had to shit. It started in the office and made a trail to the bathroom.
To top it off, he pulled down and shit right in front of the toilet in the stall, and it splattered everywhere. Good thing I was off that day and only there to get my check as well.
[–] ohgodsnakes 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
I was taking a shit in a hole in an Afghan building. It was technically a bathroom, but it's really just a hole in the ground. Anyways, I go to wipe my ass with these Hoo-ah Wipes (basically just wet wipes) anddddd my pistol/holster somehow falls off my belt and into the hole.
Spent the next 15 minutes rigging a bunch of hanger type metal together to get it out... Luckily It was a Glock. I just took the mag out and washed it out. A literal terd was lodged in the barrel. Fun stuff.
[–] thatsmrdickface 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
You should have shot the gun with the turd in the barrel.
[–] TheBearProphet 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
This is a major violation of basic gun safety. You never fire when there is something lodged in the barrel of the gun.
[–] ohgodsnakes ago
Lmao. Can't just go shooting whenever I want, but yeah. Afghan turds are the smelliest shits you'll ever smell.
[–] tiredtonight ago
That sounds so metal. Instead of black metal, it could be the birth of brown metal, a new subgenre that makes shit-jokes and puns like lil Wayne while maintaining the musical aesthetic of black metal.
[–] CivilCitizen ago
Poo smeared on top of a toilet seat. And my objective at the time was to release my bowels. Oh and i was on a long distance train in china. So the platform on which i was poached on was very unsteady.
[–] Vancandybestcandy ago (edited ago)
Worked in a bar in college that would routinely be on the list for hosts for the pride in the pines event (gay pride in Flagstaff) went to clear out bathrooms at the end of the night and walked in on a dude blowing another guy. It was one of the most awkward moments of my young life, I had to interrupted them and ask them to leave.
Edit: Later in life I was on the road for work and had to shit super bad I was in nowhere West Virgina and the only place was a gas station that looked/smelled like someone had sprayed it down with feces and other bodily fluids. To this day that was the worst shit experience of my life.
[–] tiredtonight 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Shit in the urinals.
I still don't understand it. There were toilets available, and most of them clean. But there they were, two massive, chocolate urinal cakes.
[–] drackodelmal 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Stan, who shit in the urinal?
[–] LordHumongus 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
The government did it.
[–] drunksmokingjurk ago
Shit in the bag covering the urinal because it's out of order.