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[–] pidzik 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

In third grade I always thought I could impress people with my farts. We were waiting outside in line one day before classes started and I lifted my leg in anticipation of a long and loud fart. I shit my pants, all the wayzies. Luckily no one noticed. We made our way inside the building, into our rooms, and to our desks. The teacher asked the class to sit on the floor for read aloud time. I slowly kneeled on the carpet, knowing that I would make myself a big brown pancake should I sit. "Pidzik, sit Indian style please", said teacher. I smushed my hot brown all over my bum. At this point the smell was unavoidable and people started looking around. Trying to break the tension I laughed, pointed at the smelly kid in class and said he poohed his pants. He wasn't very bright, so he laughed along, all the while my ass was thoroughly caked with unspeakable debris. Long story short, I ended up beating Jolly Roger Bay on Mario 64 later that day.

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[–] SurvivorType ago 

Hello there, welcome to Voat!