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[–] MurderParty ago 

Light it on fire!

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[–] Jabiluka 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Whip it into shape.

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[–] CosmoMcKinley 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

I'd get a bucket of chicken and eat it slowly just out of range of the beast's snappers. If it got too rambunctious, I'd switch to the coleslaw to calm it down. Hours of entertainment for the kids.

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[–] Lame_Bunt_Baiter ago 

Drive to the nearest sporting good store (the pinguid fattie's not going anywhere...that would require effort on it's part) and get a baseball bat. Then go around to the other side and go to town on it's head. Pinguid Pinata!

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[–] Prepackaged 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Paint a sign as a warning to the children.

"If you get fat you are not allowed to have fun anymore."

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[–] hampden52 ago 

"Whitney? Is that YOU??"

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[–] Speshul_Sn0wflake 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

PMSL is piss myself laughing? If so, id do the same then leave it there until it lost weight n could move on its own..