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[–] Master_Foo 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I stabbed him in the shoulder with my hunting knife, and that made him run away.

OK, cool, I can work with this. This means you have Bigfoot DNA, lets run a test and confirm this is a non-human ape. Boom, proof of Samsquamch.

Likewise, if a big hairy animal is thrashing around tearing off your pants there is going to be hair everywhere. Check your zipper dude, there's probably some stuck there. Hand it over to someone who can run an analysis on it. Case closed, Bigfoot confirmed.

Or... this is just a bullshit story, like every other conspiritard story. Dude got anal probed by "aliens". AKA, he was cruising out in the forest for homogays, ran into a "bear", and doesn't have enough integrity to come out of the closet.

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[–] Rebel_Media_FTW 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

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[–] Dereliction 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Or at least by a creature that identified as a Sasquatch.

Also, an 8-foot "gorilla-like" creature that punches you is going to knock your head from your shoulders.

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[–] Dismal_Swamp [S] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

If this was a gay Sasquatch then it might throw punches like a bitch. The fact that there's a gay Sasquatch out there tryin' to fuck dude's during hunting season is frightening. How many men out there have had a Squatches cock forced inside of them and are too afraid to come forward and speak. This man is a hero.

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[–] Dereliction 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

With logic like that, I'm forced to concede.

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[–] IsaacJan 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

That's a shaqscuatch. JAM

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[–] 11502032? ago 

Adding that to the bucket list.

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[–] 11502257? ago 

Fuck yeah. My wife saw Bigfoot in Oregon. She said he was standing by the roadside with some deer. Like right with them. Definitely not a person.

As for me.... I want to see the aliens. I want full disclosure.

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[–] 11502315? 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

https://kek.gg/i/6-CH7b.jpg I FOUND THE Perpetrator!

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[–] HillBoulder ago 

True or not the title made my sides hurt ahahaahaa I can't stop giggling

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