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[–] IsaacJan 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

That's a shaqscuatch. JAM

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[–] Dereliction 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Or at least by a creature that identified as a Sasquatch.

Also, an 8-foot "gorilla-like" creature that punches you is going to knock your head from your shoulders.

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[–] Dismal_Swamp [S] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

If this was a gay Sasquatch then it might throw punches like a bitch. The fact that there's a gay Sasquatch out there tryin' to fuck dude's during hunting season is frightening. How many men out there have had a Squatches cock forced inside of them and are too afraid to come forward and speak. This man is a hero.

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[–] Dereliction 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

With logic like that, I'm forced to concede.

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[–] Master_Foo 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I stabbed him in the shoulder with my hunting knife, and that made him run away.

OK, cool, I can work with this. This means you have Bigfoot DNA, lets run a test and confirm this is a non-human ape. Boom, proof of Samsquamch.

Likewise, if a big hairy animal is thrashing around tearing off your pants there is going to be hair everywhere. Check your zipper dude, there's probably some stuck there. Hand it over to someone who can run an analysis on it. Case closed, Bigfoot confirmed.

Or... this is just a bullshit story, like every other conspiritard story. Dude got anal probed by "aliens". AKA, he was cruising out in the forest for homogays, ran into a "bear", and doesn't have enough integrity to come out of the closet.

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[–] Cheesebooger 1 point 1 point (+2|-1) ago 

It was just Manchelle Obama

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[–] middle_path 1 point 1 point (+2|-1) ago  (edited ago)

If I decided to experiment and fuck a dude in the woods, this would probably be my alibi too.

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[–] Dismal_Swamp [S] ago 

Look up Missing 411. Sasquatch like to steal people’s children and eat them.

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[–] 11503085? 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

No... That's killary k. Klinton

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[–] 9-11 1 point -1 points (+0|-1) ago 

Sodomite

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[–] SpecialtyPizza 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Better nuke it just to be safe.

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[–] Dismal_Swamp [S] ago 

Most forest fires in this Country are started by BLM to push these unruly Sasquatch away from populated areas. Too much inbreeding within Squatch family’s has caused them to have retarded 9ft. tall children that dig thru trash cans and throw rocks at old women.

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[–] 11500776? 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Those things happen

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[–] yukonjoe 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

thc overdose

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[–] SpecialtyPizza ago 

More likely some hallucinogen.

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