[–] friendshipistragic 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
Where was @Caveman_in_a_suit during this incident?
[–] middle_path 1 point 1 point 2 points (+2|-1) ago (edited ago)
If I decided to experiment and fuck a dude in the woods, this would probably be my alibi too.
[–] Dismal_Swamp [S] ago
Look up Missing 411. Sasquatch like to steal people’s children and eat them.
[–] WithoutaDoubt 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago
If he stabbed it in the shoulder shouldn't his knife have some blood on it? That would certainly help with determining wtf attacked him. Of course this is probably just bullshit by a drunk anyway.
[–] Artofchoke 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Oh whatever, I'm not even that hairy.
[–] Dismal_Swamp [S] 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
You out there playin by prison rules
[–] Master_Foo 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago (edited ago)
OK, cool, I can work with this. This means you have Bigfoot DNA, lets run a test and confirm this is a non-human ape. Boom, proof of Samsquamch.
Likewise, if a big hairy animal is thrashing around tearing off your pants there is going to be hair everywhere. Check your zipper dude, there's probably some stuck there. Hand it over to someone who can run an analysis on it. Case closed, Bigfoot confirmed.
Or... this is just a bullshit story, like every other conspiritard story. Dude got anal probed by "aliens". AKA, he was cruising out in the forest for homogays, ran into a "bear", and doesn't have enough integrity to come out of the closet.