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[–] Master_Foo 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I stabbed him in the shoulder with my hunting knife, and that made him run away.

OK, cool, I can work with this. This means you have Bigfoot DNA, lets run a test and confirm this is a non-human ape. Boom, proof of Samsquamch.

Likewise, if a big hairy animal is thrashing around tearing off your pants there is going to be hair everywhere. Check your zipper dude, there's probably some stuck there. Hand it over to someone who can run an analysis on it. Case closed, Bigfoot confirmed.

Or... this is just a bullshit story, like every other conspiritard story. Dude got anal probed by "aliens". AKA, he was cruising out in the forest for homogays, ran into a "bear", and doesn't have enough integrity to come out of the closet.

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[–] friendshipistragic 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Where was @Caveman_in_a_suit during this incident?

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[–] Cheesebooger 1 point 1 point (+2|-1) ago 

It was just Manchelle Obama

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[–] ToFat2Fish ago 

Lucky bastered.

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[–] middle_path 1 point 1 point (+2|-1) ago  (edited ago)

If I decided to experiment and fuck a dude in the woods, this would probably be my alibi too.

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[–] Dismal_Swamp [S] ago 

Look up Missing 411. Sasquatch like to steal people’s children and eat them.

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[–] 11503085? 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

No... That's killary k. Klinton

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[–] 9-11 1 point -1 points (+0|-1) ago 

Sodomite

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[–] WithoutaDoubt 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

If he stabbed it in the shoulder shouldn't his knife have some blood on it? That would certainly help with determining wtf attacked him. Of course this is probably just bullshit by a drunk anyway.

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[–] Artofchoke 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Oh whatever, I'm not even that hairy.

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[–] Dismal_Swamp [S] 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

You out there playin by prison rules

[–] [deleted] ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] lord_nougat ago 

Safely resolving a sexual emergency!

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