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[–] ScreaminMime 1 point -1 points (+0|-1) ago 

It's not normal if you invest in a bidet.

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[–] wtfeva [S] ago 

I don't have one. Sometimes, I shit in the woods but I do look for the perfect shitter log or rock.

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[–] TheBuddha 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

One, shit happens. Wash your hands.

Two, shitting in the woods is kind of awesome. Bring toilet paper when you go hunting. Squat pooping in the forest is kind of enjoyable for some strange reason.

Anyhow, wait until you get true food poisoning. Then you will know all about pooping and getting some on your hand.

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[–] BigMatteson ago 

Honestly, the closest I want to get to a 'piece of ass' is when my finger breaks through the toilet paper.

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[–] srgmpdns 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

I think toilet paper has been getting worse and worse.

When I noticed this happening, I started getting higher grade TP.

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[–] wtfeva [S] ago 

Yeah, but I can't just blame the TP!! Like, what am I doing wrong!? I look down and its like on that thumb meat mound!

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[–] riposte 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Don’t scrunch up the tp, fold it. It can be done with one quick motion with one hand. If you ever use a really low flow toilet, you will become an expert at minimizIng tp use or you will become an expert at plunging out the clog.

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[–] wtfeva [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I've tried it both ways! Really! I was a scruncher and then tried to be a folder but still sometimes get poop on my thumb mound and still cant figure out how.

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[–] riposte 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago  (edited ago)

lol. Good times voat.

If it’s not because of cheap tp breaking, then it’s because you reach too far. Gotta have the tp covering your forethumb? on those long reaches. It’s not practice makes perfect, it’s perfect practice makes perfect.

You have to maintain focus. Be quick, be bold, be brave. Victory is in your grasp, and it smells sweet.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] wtfeva [S] ago 

Had one, but your mom took it.

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[–] wtfeva [S] ago 

Do I hire this out???????????????