I wonder if God actually hates me sometimes. You? I NEVER hear from him directly, even just to see if he hates me? I pray for death. I don't get it. Still I study. I'm NOT trying to con God, but maybe I just have no clue what sincerity IS? I try and I try. Since I was saved, my life has been turned upside down. I see evil where I didn't before, and goodness where I thought evil WAS before!
I wish I were dead. Either way, God hates me, or God loves me....seems like I'm so insignificant, there should be NO problem...an insignificant IMPROVEMENT in the universe in fact. I don't get it. God wants me humble. I'm HUMBLE. I'm an IDIOT. I don't GET it. I just want ETERNAL PEACE! Let's get started!
[–] eucalyptus_spearmint 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
No I don't think God hates me. Quite the contrary. You have to learn to be quiet and listen to His voice when your thoughts get turbulent. Read your Bible. Pray. Meditate on His goodness. Let your heart be broken and made anew. When I strayed away from God, I did so for about a decade. Coming back was not as easy as snapping my fingers. He does everything in His own way and time. I did not give up on wanting to feel that blessed assurance. I begged for God to do whatever it took for Him to get it through my thick skull! I realize now He was teaching me patience. I feel a lot more confident about Him now than I ever did when I was a new Christian. Remember Satan hates you and wants you to fail, but God is higher and stronger. He can't separate you from the Father, all Satan can do is give you temporary doubts but if you have Christ in your heart your place in eternity is already reserved and there is nothing that old devil can do it. That said, we can never obtain that peaceful knowledge in THIS life if we aren't obeying His will. God is loving but he does NOT spare the rod from His wayward children. If you're feeling the rod, examine what is going on. That may be His way of trying to correct you. No offense meant. All God's children feel that feeling, so don't think I'm preaching. God bless you!
[–] thebearfromstartrack ago
Thanks for the fertilizer and the watering.
Yeah I heard if God doesn't punish you, he doesn't care about you, and he doesn't care about everyone.
Anyway, I'm still a "baby" in the word (Hebrews says get PAST that). I don't even know if the messages (prayers for wisdom, protection from evil, guidance, support, etc) I get are from God or somewhere evil (opportunity for it). I just know EVERYTHING is different now and I feel LOST a lot, but I'm NOT quitting, since I REALIZE it's the ONLY thing worth HOPING for (salvation and eternal life WITHOUT the presence of evil!).
Anyway thanks again. I would say "God bless you" but I don't know if I have that kind of pull, and might get pounded for that. So I say, God's will to you, it's probably good given what I think I've learned about you.
Do you ever wonder what God does for fun? Does he even have fun?