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[–] Rialed 0 points 45 points (+45|-0) ago 

They found Ragen Chastain!

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[–] WeightsNotCakes 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

HA! Well played. Have an upvoat.

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[–] darthbrodin 0 points 17 points (+17|-0) ago  (edited ago)

One time in an all-volunteer-led training run we were doing 14 miles on a canal towpath. No turns, impossible to get lost, etc. Some fat fuck chastised the volunteers for not staying around at the training run for an additional two hours to wait for him and another woman to finish. Yes they took longer than 3.5 hours to run 14 miles on a perfectly flat surface in preparation to run a marathon. He whale-songed about how one of their cell phone's batteries died (yes, it took that long!) and that person was stupid enough to not drive themselves to the canal and instead planned on calling to get picked up. Had they not been together one of them would have been stranded. Every part of this was so infantile.

1) You can't control yourself so you overeat and are a fat fuck

2) You wildly overestimate your own ability, e.g., like my 3 year old thinking he can run faster than my 7 year old, to think that you can run a marathon when you can't even finish a half in 3.5 hours.

3) You exercise the judment of a teenager by relying on a cellphone that isn't fully charged so you won't be stranded in the middle of nowhere in the middle of January

4) You expect other grownups to baby sit you

5) You cry like a toddler when you're displeased by something.

Typical fat behavior. Needless to say, this one event soured it for us and we canceled the training program and just ran with each other. Fats ruin everything.

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[–] ETres 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

That's some funny shit right there, OP - thanks for posting! I wonder if they looked for her in any fast food joints, Starbeetus, or convenience stores that were on the route?

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[–] Twentyonepointthree 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

That was my thought, too: probably stopped in some place to get a bite to eat, plus dessert.

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[–] DevilsMonkey 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Well she earned a thousand calories of cake for all that walking. Probably burnt off a whole 50 calories. Clearly in danger of entering starvation mode.

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[–] PenguinOrgy 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Fuck them for being so selfish they'd make a plethora of people stay hours just for their slow asses.

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[–] vandilx 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Welcome to modern footraces.

In a bid to "grow the sport" but really to cash-grab, many of the small-time to medium race directors now allow hamplanets to participate in footraces even if they cannot complete the course in the official course time limit.

The RD wins because they get the money. The hamplanet wins because they can walk a 4.5-hr half marathon and get a medal to showoff to coworkers, claiming they are a half-marathoner. Even worse, as long as the hamplanet gets an official finisher's time on the results website, many national running clubs will accept that race as a qualifying race to join their club, treating a 4:30 half the same as a 1:30 half. It's fucked up.

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[–] AlanTuringsGhost 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Then the ham treats itself to a triple-bacon burger, large fries and Coke afterwards.

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[–] ranch-othelioma 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

But now how will ham get its internet sympathy points for "running" a half marathon?!

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[–] UlyssesEMcGill 3 points -3 points (+0|-3) ago 

Gets lots of what, faggot?

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[–] hypercat ago 

Was it half marathon? 13 miles (20k), or a 10k / 6 miles. A 10k can be walked in 2 hours easy. A half marathon would take about 4.5 hr to walk at a decent pace.

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[–] veganesthie [S] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

They were running the half I ran the 10k.

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