[–] [deleted] 1 point 35 points (+36|-1) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] rndmvar 0 points 22 points (+22|-0) ago 

The amphetamine supply to keep her going must be running thin.

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[–] NoBS 2 points 22 points (+24|-2) ago 

Pharma quality stem-cell's from freshly murdered donors.

If you torture a full term mother for at least 72 hours the newborn contains the "fountain of youth". It will repair damaged nerves and radically accelerated healing. They use more than just brain fluid of the human remains.

The organs are "enriched" due to natural defenses that only happens in a dying mother. Weird things happen in a previously healthy womb that can be documented. Both the Japanese and Germans proved that in the forties.

I wish I was full of shit. Being a liar is safer that the truth.

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[–] New_years_day [S] 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

She's running out of babies to eat.

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[–] 10803157? 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

An engine can run only so long on extra boost and then it throws a rod

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[–] TheFloydBoy 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago 

Hahahahaha! Damnit, you made me spill my drink.

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[–] PhilaFerret 0 points 27 points (+27|-0) ago 

You can't call out sick if you're President of the United States, even if you stubbed your toe.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 19 points (+19|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] CobraStallone 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

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[–] Oh_Well_ian 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

' I was juggling 3 white rabbits and a fetus while balancing on a giant Earth ball when Moloch suddenly appeared...'

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[–] EvilSeagull 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

While under fire.

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[–] Subtenko 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

ANOTHER good thing trump won

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[–] Linnormr 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

But you can spend all of your time golfing!

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[–] FreeBreivik 0 points 25 points (+25|-0) ago 

She's still dressing like Mao Zedong.

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[–] rug3y 0 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago 

She doesn't have much to work with. How do you cover a vaguely potato shaped form in an elegant fashion?

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[–] Hoonsuit 0 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago 

Nothing says elegant fashion like, BeDazzled burlap.

:D

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[–] clamhurt_legbeard 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

And they have to have pants to cover up the full leg braces.

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[–] 10803165? 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

With bacon bits and cheese?

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[–] Whattheholyfuck 0 points 20 points (+20|-0) ago 

She fell while running down the stairs. In heels. With a cup of coffee. While day trading with her Blackberry. While performing CPR on a Sudanese orphan. While defusing an undetonated WW2 shell left over from the German aerial bombing. While solving a Rubik's cube and defeating Gary Kasparov at 5 chess matches. Blindfolded.

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[–] WillisJaxson 0 points 16 points (+16|-0) ago 

"'I was running down the stairs in heels with a cup of coffee in hand, I was talking over my shoulder and my heel caught and I fell backwards."

How much bullshit can she pack into one sentence? Let me count the ways.

I'd wager she hasn't attempted a brisk walking pace in decades much less any semblance of running.

If you're holding a cup coffee you walk smoothly and carefully, especially while going down stairs.

If you are going down stairs with coffee in hand, you're watching the cup so it doesn't slosh too much. You aren't talking over your shoulder.

If your heel catches going down stairs you fall forward. If your heel slips off the edge of the step you fall backwards.

If you fall backwards, exactly how the fuck do you break a toe?

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[–] GoofyGrape 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

I wonder if Eminem poured the coffee from his pot. Probably not. I suck at rhyming...a lot.

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[–] 10803180? 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

She is the master of bullshit, so many years of practice at it and you're looking at the apex of her work and mastery.

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[–] UlyssesEMcGill 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

She'd have 15 broken bones if she tripped down the stairs while looking the wrong direction with something in her hand.

Was that really her explanation?

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[–] Ifaptocomments 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

The coffee also would have burned her (if it was hot) Old people skin is not as resistant as a young person's

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[–] MaFishTacosDaBombBro 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Not only that, but supposedly this happened after she ate dinner at some restaurant late at night.

The only people I know who drink coffee late at night are guys working the night shift. That leaves the question, does Hillary work the night shift now?

[–] [deleted] 0 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] EvilSeagull ago 

I thought this was the body double.

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[–] Eleutheria 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

Her and Jesus Campos are eloping.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] Gorillion 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

She'll have to share her with Harvey Weinstein's wife. Not kidding.

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[–] Hopevoats ago 

Also: "Her" is a weird way to spell "she".

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[–] Uncle_Slob 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

How do you fall backward if you are going down the stairs? Your heel catches and you go forward. Is she so retarded or entitled that she thinks people believe her?

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[–] Gumbatron 0 points 13 points (+13|-0) ago 

Obviously the Russians pushed her.!

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[–] 10803174? 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

backwards

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[–] peacegnome 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

the russians used pokemon go, to support BLM, so that she would fall down the stairs.

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