[–] PhilaFerret 0 points 27 points 27 points (+27|-0) ago
You can't call out sick if you're President of the United States, even if you stubbed your toe.
[–] [deleted] 0 points 19 points 19 points (+19|-0) ago
[–] CobraStallone 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
[–] Oh_Well_ian 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago
' I was juggling 3 white rabbits and a fetus while balancing on a giant Earth ball when Moloch suddenly appeared...'
[–] Doomking_Grimlock 1 point 2 points 3 points (+3|-1) ago
Although in such an event, that is sort've why we have the Vice President.
[–] UlyssesEMcGill 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
sort've
You're the only person I've ever seen use [have] when "of" is called for.
I like the way it looks though.
[–] clamhurt_legbeard 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
I'm glad we made the safer choice of healthy President instead of sick president who may or may not die in office from her late-stage degenerative diseases.
[–] PhilaFerret ago
A toe-stubbing incident is why we have a Vice President of the United States?
[–] FreeBreivik 0 points 25 points 25 points (+25|-0) ago
She's still dressing like Mao Zedong.
[–] clamhurt_legbeard 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
And they have to have pants to cover up the full leg braces.
[–] Whattheholyfuck 0 points 20 points 20 points (+20|-0) ago
She fell while running down the stairs. In heels. With a cup of coffee. While day trading with her Blackberry. While performing CPR on a Sudanese orphan. While defusing an undetonated WW2 shell left over from the German aerial bombing. While solving a Rubik's cube and defeating Gary Kasparov at 5 chess matches. Blindfolded.
[–] WillisJaxson 0 points 16 points 16 points (+16|-0) ago
"'I was running down the stairs in heels with a cup of coffee in hand, I was talking over my shoulder and my heel caught and I fell backwards."
How much bullshit can she pack into one sentence? Let me count the ways.
I'd wager she hasn't attempted a brisk walking pace in decades much less any semblance of running.
If you're holding a cup coffee you walk smoothly and carefully, especially while going down stairs.
If you are going down stairs with coffee in hand, you're watching the cup so it doesn't slosh too much. You aren't talking over your shoulder.
If your heel catches going down stairs you fall forward. If your heel slips off the edge of the step you fall backwards.
If you fall backwards, exactly how the fuck do you break a toe?
[–] GoofyGrape 0 points 11 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago
I wonder if Eminem poured the coffee from his pot. Probably not. I suck at rhyming...a lot.
[–] UlyssesEMcGill 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
She'd have 15 broken bones if she tripped down the stairs while looking the wrong direction with something in her hand.
Was that really her explanation?
[–] Ifaptocomments 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
The coffee also would have burned her (if it was hot) Old people skin is not as resistant as a young person's
[–] MaFishTacosDaBombBro 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago (edited ago)
Not only that, but supposedly this happened after she ate dinner at some restaurant late at night.
The only people I know who drink coffee late at night are guys working the night shift. That leaves the question, does Hillary work the night shift now?
[–] [deleted] 0 points 12 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago
[–] Eleutheria 0 points 11 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago
Her and Jesus Campos are eloping.
[–] Uncle_Slob 0 points 10 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago
How do you fall backward if you are going down the stairs? Your heel catches and you go forward. Is she so retarded or entitled that she thinks people believe her?
[–] peacegnome 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
the russians used pokemon go, to support BLM, so that she would fall down the stairs.
[–] [deleted] 1 point 35 points 36 points (+36|-1) ago
[–] rndmvar 0 points 22 points 22 points (+22|-0) ago
The amphetamine supply to keep her going must be running thin.
[–] NoBS 2 points 22 points 24 points (+24|-2) ago
Pharma quality stem-cell's from freshly murdered donors.
If you torture a full term mother for at least 72 hours the newborn contains the "fountain of youth". It will repair damaged nerves and radically accelerated healing. They use more than just brain fluid of the human remains.
The organs are "enriched" due to natural defenses that only happens in a dying mother. Weird things happen in a previously healthy womb that can be documented. Both the Japanese and Germans proved that in the forties.
I wish I was full of shit. Being a liar is safer that the truth.
[–] New_years_day [S] 0 points 10 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago
She's running out of babies to eat.
[–] 10803157? 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
An engine can run only so long on extra boost and then it throws a rod
[–] TheFloydBoy 0 points 9 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago
Hahahahaha! Damnit, you made me spill my drink.