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[–] 10749932? [S] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

No guiltz, pls! Oh yeah, I totally get that.

start considering marrying again to a good man and make babies with.

Heh, I bet the postings on this site are helping sway you, eh? (: That is a good goal, methinks.
What kinda man do you seek? What's your criteria in terms of personality and physical appearance, etc?

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[–] 10750072? 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Criteria is pretty much to not be like my ex-husband. I got so blinded by love and the fact that he is a Marine, I ignored every red flag about him - selfish, childish, incapable of taking responsibility, expects the world to owe him "something", quick to anger, violent though never towards me, incapable of maintaining a steady job, probably incapable of truly loving another. I have a fear that he's fucked me up too much to really ever be marriage quality again, so I figure if I start working on my outward appearance and embrace my femininity again that maybe that'll help heal the shit inside?

If I were to look for a man, definitely older than me by at least five years and active as much as I am cuz I need to be active or else I'm going to go full blown crazy. I need my hiking! He doesn't have to be fucking prince charming, ya know? Just a good heart, and most likely share similar religious beliefs as mine.

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[–] 10750201? [S] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Yeah, I confess a tendency to sorta... fetishize men in the armed forces, too. I think that is easy to do /: I don't blame you. After I learned about PTSD, I don't feel the same about it at all. That sounds really difficult, I'm sorry. It's so hard for a woman to move past a man in her life -- that's one thing I know personally.

I have a fear that he's fucked me up too much to really ever be marriage quality again, so I figure if I start working on my outward appearance and embrace my femininity again that maybe that'll help heal the shit inside?

I can understand. You seem bold and resilient, though! (: It would be hard for most women to move on, but I sense a special tenacity in you. You can and will do it!!!
I think you're spot on. Mind and body are inextricable. Bi-directional effects; improving one has to also improve the other.

What do you wish to improve about your experience?

Love dat older man (; Sounds like good set of criteria to me. Hiking clubs?