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[–] mk46gunner 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

Alive and well and back in charge of my own Twitter!

...for now, fatty. Carpe the fucking diem, because it ain't gonna last.

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[–] rompele 0 points 25 points (+25|-0) ago 

Not so fast my fellow shitlord. There are a multitude of complications he could face, thus returning him to his buttery maker, such as:

  • Post-surgery complications
  • Going back to his old eating habits and eating until his stomach explodes
  • Sepsis

Do not lose hope!

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[–] Plavonica 0 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago 

I'm placing my bet on #2!

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[–] fatzero 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

Ding Ding!! Lapband surgery requires them to sustain from food, if they can't do that all else will fail. He had a hard time even getting under 500 pounds. He could have lost that weight if he stopped drinking soda alone.

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[–] MorbidObesityTracker ago 

Yep...#2.

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[–] prairiegirl 0 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago 

Not thwarted. Lord Beetus is playing the long game with this particularly odious specimen. A lingering and painful game.

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[–] ScalarWhaler 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Lord Beetus relishes in the delirious surgeries and weight swings as people rack their bodies over the gut wrenching toils of dieting and the razor sharp knives wielded by money grubbing hyopcritic neo-shamans. Why wouldn't he let this one linger a bit longer with such entertainment value?

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[–] theepilepticferret 0 points 17 points (+17|-0) ago 

Lord Beetus might have been thwarted, but Lord Surgical Complications is waiting on standby.

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[–] LittleBittz 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

A lot of these patients still try to eat the same, stretch out their stomachs and eventually weigh even more than before. But I'm still hoping for severe complications. Fingers crossed.

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[–] belil569 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Ive got two months to win my bet. Hope complications get him soon.

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[–] PaperEngines ago 

Damn, I'm kinda disappointed in myself for not suckering some poor shmuck into taking a bet like this.

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[–] belil569 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

The only friends I still have after my divorce are hardcore shitlords. Makes it easy to make the bets.

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[–] Carsandsarcasm 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Death during surgery was highly likely so naturally it was supported. However, the various ways he will fail now are much more entertaining. Dying on the table is only good for a chuckle. Watching as he comes to the slow realisation he can't eat his feelings anymore and begins to regret the surgery is hilarious. In the long term, watching as he loses down to 250-300lb or so and then plateaus and never becomes anything approaching thin is also good. I am also partial to losing barely any weight at all before beginning to gain again. That really would be funny. That would also be a good bet because so many of his calories come from beetus juice. Even if he loses all the weight (raucous laughter), he'll still be disgusting. There is no way we can lose.

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[–] sidewaythighgap 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

You have too much faith in him. I doubt he will even reach 300. He will probably lose 50 lbs, then gradually stretch out his stomache. In less than 2 years he will be heavier than now. There won't be death, there will just be endless agony for him.

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[–] DuchessofShitbridge 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Oh man, watching him lose say 50lb and then ballooning up to 600 would be the funniest thing ever!

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[–] Mongychops 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I don't know, to maintain 500lb needs a lot of calories. He's far heavier than the average fat who gets the surgery, so he's going to lose some weight just because he used to eat like a two-legged dumpster, and that won't be possible for now.

He'll never leave death-fat levels, but this will be the most weight Boogie has ever lost (unless he dies from complications).

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[–] Carsandsarcasm 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

You're such an optimist with this positive outlook.

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[–] nobslob 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I wonder if he'll find a way to blame the doctors and surgery on his failures.

edit: I know it will happen, but I can't come up with a good sounding fatlogic excuse atm.

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[–] blue5car 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Lord Gastric Rupture tags in

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