[–] Kromulent 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
There was another commenter here who offered the opinion that it was more of a continuum than a state change. I think that's both reasonable and hopeful; you can always get better, and you can always benefit from trying a little more.
I've been getting a lot of benefit from pursuing a path that is possibly similar to your own. I have really come around to the idea of how our perception of the world is very much a self-generated thing, and surprisingly malleable, too. I've found that frustration is just a sign that one's expectations are not aligned with reality, and that it is entirely the fault of the expectations, not the world. I've found that breaking a concept into words necessarily alters it, and alters my perception of it, sometimes fatally. I've found that experiencing things, without attempting to describe them, can sometimes lead to an innate sort of learning that is otherwise impossible, like how muscle memory can form when a physical action is performed correctly, over and over.
I've become deeply agnostic, in the old-style meaning of the word. I believe that any ideology is necessarily incomplete, there is no algorithm, no set of principles that can offer us any more than a rough and frequently-excepted guide. I don't disbelieve anything, either. It's just not on my radar anymore.
I consider it healthy and good to be unperturbed by things that don't really demand action from me. I consider withdrawal and complacency similarly unhealthy, the same mistake made in a different way. We can engage with the world peacefully, at least most of the time, and if we cannot, then it deserves attention.
I consider a tendency towards kindness, enjoyment, and fulfillment to be good; self-consciousness, self-criticism, and the mind fighting itself as something to grow out of. I think unity of the mind, a dynamic balance of differing but kindly cooperating parts, is a much better approach.
The goal I see ahead is nothing spiritual, just emotional health, borne of a healthy outlook and a healthy self-conception. But I bet we've tread in each other's footsteps more that once along the way.
[–] middle_path [S] ago
Really beautifully said. Well done, I couldn't have said it better myself. If you've never studied stoicism, I would be very surprised.
[–] Kromulent 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Yep, I've read a little about it, and liked most of what I saw. Being chronically ill kind of sets you up to appreciate things like that, I don't think it would have made as much sense to me in my younger days.
That's an interesting thought, too; I feel very confident that if I met my younger self, that I could not possibly explain to him what I know now. It makes me wonder what my ever-older self could not explain to me today.