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[–] Funkypurplekitty 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Great list.
Love the post it note on the bathroom mirror idea. I used to write little one liner compliments and put them in is pockets and even his wallet but I haven't done hat in a while.
I did buy a heart shaped chalk board for us to write things we love about each other on, just need to buy a comand hook to hang it up with.

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[–] 8345963? [S] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

I like the reminders as well. It's easy to get into a rut and talking about these things helps me to be a more mindful wife.

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[–] ShitsInPringlesCans 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

But what if the wife is absolutely terrible at sex, has a hygiene problem, suffers from a self-esteem problem given to her by her mother (who still torments her), acts entirely prudish due to a very fucked up sense of guilt (more of her mother's shit), has no desire to learn about sex at all despite all best efforts, will never - ever - talk about sex, is a huge naggy self-serving bitch the vast majority of the time, inspires absolutely no sexual thoughts for you, and you fucking hate the bitch for taking away and trashing what should have been 10 of the best years of your life?

What then?

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[–] Le_Squish 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

2 things need to happen. Demand that she gets help and be a man that inspires her to be her best. Work on shedding bad habits and retake control of your relationship.

Don't make excuses for her, don't coddle. She is an adult. No matter what her past trauma, she can choose to be different and seek a path of healing.

Let her know that you will no longer tolerate this behavior and she will get help and there will be counseling and improvement and you will fully support her but you are done if she is unwilling to move forward.

She will throw some criticism back on you. Take it, make no excuses. Just emphasize that from this moment you are going to be a better man and you would like to see her become a better woman.

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[–] 8344767? [S] ago 

This is the right way forward.

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[–] 8344341? [S] ago 

Fuck. That's terrible. Do you have kids?