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[–] babybleu ago 

When I was 19, partially due to a medical issue. However, I never wanted to adopt, do the surrogate thing or be a mom. I have no regrets at all.

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[–] Thapphireth ago 

I couldn't pinpoint the time when I started thinking about my stance on having children (maybe 16?), but I'd say I've known all my life (or my adult life, like you). I don't remember a time where I thought that I wanted to have kids.

Sure, I do know the occasionally blip of biological urges acting up, but it's incredibly easy to have my rational mind win this internal 5-second debate.

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[–] Hume ago 

When people used to tell me "you will change your mind when you are older" I desperately WANTED to believe them. The thought of having children has repulsed me ever since I was a child myself, but like many, I too thought that children were an inevitable fact of life; that was just what people do and nobody had told me otherwise.

My partner's sister recently had a child. She is of the the friendliest and most loving people I have ever met, and having a child tested her. It made me more comfortable with the fact that I will not have children, and my boyfriend finally understood. I don't have to make excuses any more, now that I have evidence to back up my preference not to have kids.

I was always the same with marriage, too. I didn't care about marriage, but it was framed as inevitable. My mother still laughs at my wedding plans as a child: "little wedding, big cake". Now I can just have the cake.

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[–] Ani ago 

I grew out of playing Mommy pretty early, I suppose. The first time I really recall thinking that kids were definitely not for me, though, was in a 7th grade biology class. Our teacher made us watch a Nova special on the "miracle" of childbirth and I just remember sitting there in horror as this woman pushed forth this giant baby from her vagina. I made a vow that I would never ever ever ever do that to myself. Couple that with my shit childhood and it's no wonder I'm happily childfree.

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[–] Kintobor22 ago 

I preferred to be tucked away, reading books instead of interacting with other kids as a kid. The whole 'playing house' thing didn't really interest me.So I've basically been childfree my entire life.

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[–] Towel_Frood_42 ago 

I decided at the ripe old age of 5! I didn't like hanging out with other kids and couldn't wait to become an adult. My Mum used to take me to a play group and would try to set me up with activities with other kids. As soon as she turned her back I would be gone, inevitably she would find me drinking tea with the mums in the kitchen.

Lizardbreathe's comment about people telling you that you will change your mind as your age resonates with me. I am 39 and they are still telling me that I will want to in a few years. My mind is firmly made up and even if hypothetically it wasn't the risk of genetic defects are way too high at my age. I am as likely to change my mind as parents are to give away their kids.

My partner's mum was devastated when we told her she wasn't getting grandchildren from us. She said the dogs would have to be her grandchildren and started knitting them jackets! I found it embarrassing to go out in public with dogs that were wearing clothes so I found her a charity that needed jumpers knitted for penguins that had been caught in oil slicks.(It stops them ingesting oil, until they can be washed)

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[–] Kvoat 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Never really wanted to have kids but always thought I might change my mind when I "grow up". I'm 25 now and I dont feel like I've grown up one bit, and I cant see it happening anytime soon. I have two step brothers that are both younger than me that have 6 kids between them and over the past few years just seeing what they are going through has been enough to solidify my position for life as far as I'm concerned.

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[–] grimnir 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

I have an 8yo. I never wanted to have a kid. I told myself for years that the consideration for having a kid would wait until I was in my late 20's and could properly care for it, I told significant others this as well. I'm 30 now, when I was 22 I still didn't want to have a kid, but I really wanted to have a fulfilling relationship, and unfortunately she wanted a kid. I was poor, had no good plan for getting out of it, but I worked hard and could make enough money to survive, as I had been doing since leaving school. I definitely should not have had a kid, not with her, not simply because she wanted something to validate a relationship. I still don't want a kid now, even an 8yo who loves me very much, that I care about. If I could have those 8 years of my life back I would take them immediately.

Reality however is that I'm separated, re-married to someone who is childfree and wants to remain that way, and on bad terms with her to the point I'm not sure I'll see my kid again unless I get a lawyer. My parents don't like this turn of events, and turned their back on me to keep her on good terms so they can see my kid. The expected thing to do in this situation is to get a lawyer, fight for my parental rights, establish dominance, pee on things to claim my territory, and other tedious and money-consuming things that I honestly don't care about. This makes me a bad person, and my parents make sure to remind me that I'm a bad person.

I was childfree once, I knew having kids was not something I would embrace and I made the mistake of doing it anyway. Your biological functions can wait 10-15 years, if you're not sure, keep waiting. Enjoy being childfree until you're sure you've finished your life and want to sacrifice the rest of it to a spawn of your own.

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[–] babybleu 1 point 0 points (+1|-1) ago 

Upvoat for the honesty.

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