[–] [deleted] 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
[–] heili 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
I knew I didn't want kids when I was still one myself, around age five.
I didn't know it was possible to not have kids until I was a little older, so there were a few years there that I was really fucking depressed about the thought that babies were some unavoidable thing that just happened to you once you were an adult.
[–] [deleted] 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
[–] heili 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
What?
I never said there was no way to be complete or fully adult without children, or even that I had that impression. What I said was that when I was five and didn't understand how babies happen and the means to prevent them from happening I was depressed as fuck because I thought they were inevitable.
And then I learned how human reproduction works and that such a thing as birth control existed.
[–] Nermal 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
I was telling my family while I was still in my teens that I knew I didn't even want to consider it until my 30s. My go to response was, "ask me in 10 years" since everyone always said, "you'll change your mind when you're older."
I'm 33 now and my mind didn't change.
[–] SUGARPEAS 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
I knew in elementary school. People kept asking me if I wanted to get married and have kids when I grew up. I said no to both. I'm 25 now and still feel the same. Once I start my new job and get my own insurance I'm going to try and get Essure or something so I don't have to deal with birth control anymore. Hopefully I can find a non-bigoted doctor to do it for me. :\
[–] grimnir 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
I have an 8yo. I never wanted to have a kid. I told myself for years that the consideration for having a kid would wait until I was in my late 20's and could properly care for it, I told significant others this as well. I'm 30 now, when I was 22 I still didn't want to have a kid, but I really wanted to have a fulfilling relationship, and unfortunately she wanted a kid. I was poor, had no good plan for getting out of it, but I worked hard and could make enough money to survive, as I had been doing since leaving school. I definitely should not have had a kid, not with her, not simply because she wanted something to validate a relationship. I still don't want a kid now, even an 8yo who loves me very much, that I care about. If I could have those 8 years of my life back I would take them immediately.
Reality however is that I'm separated, re-married to someone who is childfree and wants to remain that way, and on bad terms with her to the point I'm not sure I'll see my kid again unless I get a lawyer. My parents don't like this turn of events, and turned their back on me to keep her on good terms so they can see my kid. The expected thing to do in this situation is to get a lawyer, fight for my parental rights, establish dominance, pee on things to claim my territory, and other tedious and money-consuming things that I honestly don't care about. This makes me a bad person, and my parents make sure to remind me that I'm a bad person.
I was childfree once, I knew having kids was not something I would embrace and I made the mistake of doing it anyway. Your biological functions can wait 10-15 years, if you're not sure, keep waiting. Enjoy being childfree until you're sure you've finished your life and want to sacrifice the rest of it to a spawn of your own.
[–] Thapphireth ago
I couldn't pinpoint the time when I started thinking about my stance on having children (maybe 16?), but I'd say I've known all my life (or my adult life, like you). I don't remember a time where I thought that I wanted to have kids.
Sure, I do know the occasionally blip of biological urges acting up, but it's incredibly easy to have my rational mind win this internal 5-second debate.
When people used to tell me "you will change your mind when you are older" I desperately WANTED to believe them. The thought of having children has repulsed me ever since I was a child myself, but like many, I too thought that children were an inevitable fact of life; that was just what people do and nobody had told me otherwise.
My partner's sister recently had a child. She is of the the friendliest and most loving people I have ever met, and having a child tested her. It made me more comfortable with the fact that I will not have children, and my boyfriend finally understood. I don't have to make excuses any more, now that I have evidence to back up my preference not to have kids.
I was always the same with marriage, too. I didn't care about marriage, but it was framed as inevitable. My mother still laughs at my wedding plans as a child: "little wedding, big cake". Now I can just have the cake.
[–] yeahrich 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago
So, this sub is great for you. You are not weird! There are lots of people like you.
These other people are speaking from their experience and who the hell are they to criticize you and your choices. I think it's foreign to them that you might not want children because they wanted them and cant relate. Then I think about how for the majority of people their biggest accomplishment in life is having a child. They put such importance on it and think you should too. I start to think that sometimes your choice to not have children threatens their very meaning of life.
I wasn't sure for most of my 20's now that I'm in my 30s I am 90% sure I do not want children. It does not take you to be or make you amazing to have a freaking baby. There are plenty of worthless people out there blindly humping and procreating.
Do you know why you do not want babies? For me it is the following top three reasons:
They cost a Ton of money and I cant afford it.
They cost a ton of time and I cannot afford it. They likely have a horrible future ahead of them cleaning up the messes of our parents and us.
Please feel free to Add to my list cause there are just so many reasons not to just go out and bring another being into this already overpopulated world.