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[–] MetalAegis 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Your mother was a jackal?

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[–] julian_assanger [S] ago 

And your father smelled of elderberries!

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[–] Rainy-Day-Dream 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

you should probably gas yourself. that's the second note of the art of grammar, from the lesser key of solomon. pseudo-magical kikery

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[–] julian_assanger [S] ago  (edited ago)

Got a natural gas oven. It's on now. I'll probably pussy out.

EDIT: Yeaah, I pulled an Elton. The smell wasn't pleasant, so I opened a window. God damn... Sleeping on your knees with your head in an oven for eight days really brings things into perspective:
1) It's not comfortable.
2) Gas bills are fucking god damn expensive.
3) Hipsters shouldn't smoke beside open windows.

@Rainy-Day-Dream

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[–] julian_assanger [S] 2 points 1 point (+3|-2) ago  (edited ago)

I am so glad my whore of a mother didn't get blood and discharge all over it.

Also, the title was a joke, because this is from a grimoire, and one who possesses a thing of such great power is beyond asking questions. Also, I'm fucking drunk again.

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[–] BonerWizard 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Also I looked up the word grimoire and *the shopping suggestion was one from Barnes and Nobles. Color me a bit more disillusioned.

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[–] julian_assanger [S] ago 

Believe it or not, there are lots of publishers that do things the old-fashioned way. I bet you'd more easily believe how much some of them charge... like U.S. $500.00 minimum.

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[–] Rainy-Day-Dream 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

because this is from a grimoire

it's from a jewish grimoire and has no real power just like numerology and any other kike sorcery nonsense

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[–] julian_assanger [S] ago 

Damn it, I know that now that I'm sober!

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[–] BonerWizard 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Gimmie your evil book of magick so I can live up to my username.

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[–] smokratez 1 point 6 points (+7|-1) ago 

Drink some water before you fall asleep to avoid the hangover.

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[–] julian_assanger [S] ago 

I drank pickle juice.

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[–] goatboy 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

It looks like you were supposed to have been aborted, but lucked out.

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[–] julian_assanger [S] ago 

It took me forever to know how to respond to this... But I actually was not supposed to be born, fantasy aside...