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[–] Danceswithswole 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Take out your phone and scroll through FPH stopping every minute or so to throw back your head in uproarious laughter. For bonus points upload a pic of a hipster fat that looks exactly like him. Then when it comes up in rotation act like you're overcome with nausea and take out a bag just in case.

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[–] NoCountryForFatMen 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago  (edited ago)

LOL. I think it'd be easier to call a friend, and say something like "... hahaha stop it Jessica, you're the worst! Yeah he told me. But I'd rather die than date a fatass like Kevin. Hahaha, I knooooow! I bet he can't even see his own dick!"

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[–] NoCountryForFatMen 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Do you always pick the same spot, or does he sit next you because he literally just wants to sit next to you specifically?

If it's the former, just sit somewhere else. If it's the latter, tell him to stop sitting next to and pressing up against you every single day like a creep.

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[–] Vrendly 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Tell him politely to fuck off, be careful though. You don't want a 500 pound angry whale being aggressive toward you because he can't handle rejection. He'll crush you with his gut.

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[–] Barley330 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Throw a donut in the aisle then when tubby inevitably goes after it, a human can sit next to you.

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[–] Nofatpeople 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Tell it that "fat people are fucking disgusting sub human filth, they do not deserve to be in the same train car as humans. The cattle car is in back."

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[–] MightBeADuck 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

You could just ignore the huffing and tell him to stay in one seat, or bring a book/bag with you to jam in between his disgusting body and yourself.

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[–] vulturePunch 0 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago 

straight tell him to sit elsewhere cause you're tired of having to sit uncomfortably cause of his size. Do it when there's other people around.