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[–] IggyReilly 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

2-parent, but dad traveled for work until I was 10, so I only saw him one or two nights a week. Mom is narcissist and abused all of us; dad was a victim of the abuse, can't say he was an enabler but maybe he was because he wanted her to love him.

Since he started traveling for work shortly after their marriage, he believed her when he came back and told him we were all out of control, leading him to get pissed at us. She would then talk mad shit about my dad and his family to us, in an attempt to stifle any relationship with dad.

Dad got a job where he could be home when I was 10, but then they just started fighting all the time. My older brother would excitedly tell us he couldn't wait for divorce because he could live with mom and do/get whatever he wanted. This was when we would hide in one of our bedrooms and listen to them fight. We would always hear mom yelling, threatening to hit herself and call the cops on him. Dad would sometimes go stay in a hotel for a week or so at a time, but they never split up.

Mom was a "homemaker" which meant chain-smoking, day-drunk, talking on the phone about how she uses us children as slaves and how fucked we are to everyone she could, using us as slaves, playing Nintendo, and microwaving hotdogs for dinner. Don't even get me started on "pile day". When I was a teenager, she would bitch at me how horrible dad was. I would tell her to sack up and leave, and she would reply with, "but I don't have enough money to live the life I want without him."

She finally got a job when I was . . . maybe 22. She ended up cheating on dad for several years with a nasty troll-looking swinger who is now in prison for statutory rape and sodomy (his rebound from mom I guess - he was 56, she was 16). Dad suspected an affair, and eventually died at the age of 55 from a heart attack. When my sister and I were cleaning his things out of the house less than a week after his death (mom needed it done but was too "heartbroken" to do so), we found a bottle of tetracycline in his medicine area. He had health insurance, but this was prescribed to him on the side by a doc he knew.

We looked up what the meds were for, and saw it is a common treatment for some STDs, so my theory is: mom got STD from troll-swinger, gave it to dad. Dad, in shame, went and got prescription on the side instead of going to his doctor. Side effects include, if I remember, possible heart problems if prescribed incorrectly. He died of a heart attack while finishing the meds, when a physical just 3 months prior came back that he was in great health (aged 55). Mom refused an autopsy, probably to cover up how shitty of a human being she is, collected the life insurance, sold the house, and shacked up with another guy less than 3 months after dad passed. She still doesn't work, and is toothless and ugly - don't know how she managed to snag anyone. Also, most of dad's "friends" knew of the affair, but never bothered to tell him.

It has affected my relationships because I sought out abusive partners, not knowing any better. I finally found someone normal, with a normal enough family, and it gives me anxiety thinking about them, because it's like a weird TV show family. I love the guy, but it is just so weird to be "normal". It's also hard to trust anyone, despite spewing my life all over the internet.

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[–] 6220859? 1 point 0 points (+1|-1) ago 

Two parents and glad for it, the difference compared to a person who was raised by a single parent is clear.

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[–] ImJust1Man 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Well since no one else has answered this, I grew up in a single parent home/ homes my mom got me every other weekend. It was horrible my parents used me and my sister as weapons to hurt each other my father and step mother beat the shit out of me until I got big enough to fight back. My parents tried to kill each other during exchanges multiple times. Left when I was 16 there are a lot more problems and stories I'll save for another time. I vowed I would never get a divorce no matter what I'll die first and I've been married for 10 years it's been tough we have had some rough spots but we are better people for it.

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[–] l23r 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

2 parent home till 2nd grade but my dad was at work all the time. I stayed at my grandmas place a lot after school when he was home because my parents fought a lot.

From 5th grade on I lived with my mom and her BF but he worked from home in the basement and really only took care of me when it was a favour to my mom, like driving me to the dentist or something.

I'm not monogamous and don't want kids. Not sure if my upbringing had anything to do with that or not. My husband is also non-monogamous and OK with not having kids and he grew up on a nice farm with lots of family.

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[–] smokratez 1 point 0 points (+1|-1) ago 

A no parent home for all intents and purposes. My dad was an abusive drunk and my mom still is a schizophrenic bipolar. I lived mostly on the street or at friends homes.

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[–] vandilx 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Two parents. With a stay-at-home mom, even. They were lovers, companions, and best friends. Sounds reasonable to me. My wife and I are lovers, companions, and best friends.

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[–] schwanstucker 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago  (edited ago)

I grew up in a home full of love--it had some problems, but all homes do. My brother and I have discussed this time after time, and both of us feel that the jumpstart we got from a two parent stable home gave us a great deal. Both of us are retirement age, and we are both unfortunately separated from our own families, both for the same reason--we messed up in our choice of a life-partner. We both thought we were doing well for ourselves, but our wives (one each, just to be clear) were raised in homes where the father was an abusive asshole, and that colored our marriages dark gray to very black. There are lots of other things I could say, but my main comments here, from the perspective of someone who got beaten up pretty badly in the marriage game are these:

KNOW your partner before you marry. DO NOT THINK that your love will change him or her. Make your choice somewhat rationally. Always seek shared values. Don't marry someone who won't take care of himself/herself (i. e., don't marry a man without a job, and have one yourself) And a final one. Seek to match libidos. Everyone says, "Don't found a marriage on sex," but they are really stupid. Sex is how we express our love for our partner, and how we eliminate the negative energy that sometimes fills our days. A "dead bedroom" will ruin the best of relationships, and if your future partner says something like, "I don't care about sex," get the hell away.

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[–] wild_injun 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Grew up in a 2 parent household both were on their 2nd marriages. They voluntarily worked late hours and most of my time was spent with a babysitter. They were both pretty insecure individuals and that created alot of tention around the household. Money and gifts of their way of making up for not spending time with my siblings and I on a regular basis.

I tend not to get close with anyone plutonic or romantic and have never really fell in love. I do not intend to be married ever or even have childern, i feel both are super selfish if you can only make money and not make time for them. I can not say one way or the other if my view is directly linked to early family life.

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