[–] schwanstucker 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago (edited ago)
I grew up in a home full of love--it had some problems, but all homes do. My brother and I have discussed this time after time, and both of us feel that the jumpstart we got from a two parent stable home gave us a great deal. Both of us are retirement age, and we are both unfortunately separated from our own families, both for the same reason--we messed up in our choice of a life-partner. We both thought we were doing well for ourselves, but our wives (one each, just to be clear) were raised in homes where the father was an abusive asshole, and that colored our marriages dark gray to very black. There are lots of other things I could say, but my main comments here, from the perspective of someone who got beaten up pretty badly in the marriage game are these:
KNOW your partner before you marry. DO NOT THINK that your love will change him or her. Make your choice somewhat rationally. Always seek shared values. Don't marry someone who won't take care of himself/herself (i. e., don't marry a man without a job, and have one yourself) And a final one. Seek to match libidos. Everyone says, "Don't found a marriage on sex," but they are really stupid. Sex is how we express our love for our partner, and how we eliminate the negative energy that sometimes fills our days. A "dead bedroom" will ruin the best of relationships, and if your future partner says something like, "I don't care about sex," get the hell away.
[–] l23r 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
2 parent home till 2nd grade but my dad was at work all the time. I stayed at my grandmas place a lot after school when he was home because my parents fought a lot.
From 5th grade on I lived with my mom and her BF but he worked from home in the basement and really only took care of me when it was a favour to my mom, like driving me to the dentist or something.
I'm not monogamous and don't want kids. Not sure if my upbringing had anything to do with that or not. My husband is also non-monogamous and OK with not having kids and he grew up on a nice farm with lots of family.
[–] 6217092? 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Yes.
I lived with two parents until they divorced when I was around 13-14, although honestly I spent most of my out of school time with my grandparents who were married as teens and stayed that way until they died. Then I lived with the woman who gave birth to me for a few years. Then I lived with my dad and stepmother (they will celebrate 30 years in a couple of years).
As far as love/relationships, I have always been a little too fast to fall in love but I commit completely when I do. I learned a lot more from my first marriage than anything my parents showed me, mainly because they showed me nothing since they were rarely around at the same time. My second marriage has been a lot easier and better, I think partially because of a better choice the second time and more experience with what not to do.
[–] wild_injun 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Grew up in a 2 parent household both were on their 2nd marriages. They voluntarily worked late hours and most of my time was spent with a babysitter. They were both pretty insecure individuals and that created alot of tention around the household. Money and gifts of their way of making up for not spending time with my siblings and I on a regular basis.
I tend not to get close with anyone plutonic or romantic and have never really fell in love. I do not intend to be married ever or even have childern, i feel both are super selfish if you can only make money and not make time for them. I can not say one way or the other if my view is directly linked to early family life.
[–] iamjanesleftnipple 1 point 2 points 3 points (+3|-1) ago
Two parent home, and they love each other so much it made me worried that I wouldn't find anyone I could trust that much in the modern age. Luckily that didn't happen and I did find someone and feel really lucky that I can have a marriage like mine (and her parents) do.