[–] Fllmia 1 point 7 points 8 points (+8|-1) ago (edited ago)
Don't let shit like this stand. I had a similar incident when checking out what will be my new local grocery in Minnesota a month ago. This fucking lardbarge shouldered past me in an aisle while I'm down on my heels checking for low-carb wrap brands I like. The beast is half my height, but easily triple my weight and knocks me off balance.
You need to realize, I'm from fucking Miami. It isn't something I'm saying because I'm proud, it's because Miami is the rudest most confrontational city in this country. I don't put up with this shit and can give as good as I get.
I looked at the ham and said, loudly and very rudely, "Excuse yourself". The ham looked back and said "What?"
"I said excuse yourself."
It mooed back, angry now, "For what?"
"For being a rude fucking bitch, what do you think? You just shoved me."
It was getting pissed now, "You were in my way, you have problems."
"Yes, I definitely have problems, your fucking rudeness chief among them. You owe me an apology. You ask people to move out of the way, you don't shove them, you rude fucking bitch"
It tried to leave, I followed it until I found an employee and told him what she had done, she kept mooing I had "problems" and "anger issues".
Damn fucking straight. Next time don't pick a fight. I wish I could say the employee kicked her out, but he did tell her to be more polite. She looked pretty freaked something more would happen, or that I was unhinged, which was kind of what I was going for.
Lesson - scare the FUCK out of hams with anger when they give you an excuse.
[–] ElectricPurple 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago
Shove it on the floor. It won't be able to get up, anyway.
[–] neveragainfatty 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Yeah, but people around your size need to remember the physics behind the "Gunt Punt" or risk collateral damage. A falling obeast could possibly trap you underneath it. A fate worse than death.
[–] [deleted] 0 points 10 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago (edited ago)
[–] sugarcoatedstrych9 [S] 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago
I was so angry today that if I had responded any further, it would have been an absolute embarrassment of a scene, and I can't guarantee that I'd have come out on top. If I hadn't been in such an awful mood already, I probably would have been able to respond properly. It was either walk away, or get arrested myself for assault at the least, or murder at worst.
[–] OhTheHamanatee 0 points 14 points 14 points (+14|-0) ago
Don't worry, beetus gets them all sooner or later, and that butter inhaler will suffer quite a lot of pain too.
You just make the best out of this disgusting situation now, and be proud that you triggered a mayoplanet by just existing.
[–] hulkingmanbeast ago
"And all the tithe of diabetes, whether of the legs of the lards, or of the yeast of the gunt, is Lord Beetus'."
[–] sugarcoatedstrych9 [S] 0 points 10 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago
That's the silver lining I'm taking away from this, even though I wasn't able to verbally respond or even get the proper authorities involved in the moment, knowing that I triggered TWO fat ugly wastes of space in the span of like 15 minutes just by my simple existence gives me no small amount of joy.
[–] DessertFox 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago (edited ago)
You can call the store and tell the manager that you were assaulted by a customer there. You could file a police report, but it will get ignored unless you have some sort of injury that would necessitate further action.
The best asshole move may be to take their cart the moment they let go of it, and walk it to the other side of the store. Force them to either waddle after it, or to get all the stuff again. It's not stealing, because they have not bought anything. You can tell them "if you're going to assault me with a cart, then you can't have a cart" the entire time if they reeeee after you.
[–] [deleted] 0 points 27 points 27 points (+27|-0) ago
[–] LetTheAshesFly 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Yeah, one almost hit me (again) a couple months back, and had the nerve to look me in the eye when they halted to a stop (in the middle of a cross walk with the walk sign on) and call me a "stupid bitch"... For crossing the fucking road. I don't see why their behavior is acceptable when they are legit putting lives at risk, not just their own. I'm already extremely paranoid about cars from it happening before a few times, one actually hitting me (in a parking lot so I was only bruised).
[–] drakesdoom 0 points 44 points 44 points (+44|-0) ago
You should have called the police, she just admitted to minor assault and it's on camera.
[–] [deleted] 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago (edited ago)
[–] LottaBeetusJuice 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
Either that or knock her fucking teeth down her throat.
Would avoid that. As much as it would be justified, they have cameras there and it's not worth getting into serious trouble because of an eatbeast.
[–] okporpoise 0 points 12 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago
Definitely. Not doing anything about their obscene behavior enables them to keep being a shitter.
[–] retailslave 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
Fats get away with shit FAR too often. Maybe normal humans are intimidated by their ungodly size, but we need to remember just how weak, unstable, and uncoordinated fat fucks are. One stiff kick to the back of the knee and their bulbous forms come tumbling down. They lack any physical ability to stop it.
[–] Unsung_Heroes_again 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
Would have snapped at "i guess"