You would start feeling the need to add and follow "body positive" movements on social media. Shortly after you would begin to eat constantly, even in bed. You would hoard candy bars in nightstands, office desks, and car glove boxes. Your blood sugar would remain high for so long that not eating sugary foods would cause you to feel irritable and sluggish. Eventually your organs would fail from visceral fat overtaking your systems or you would develop sepsis in one of your multiple open wounds caused by your overstretched skin and you would die. Pretty much the way it happens right now.
[–] totes_magotes ago (edited ago)
Totes Magotes reporting for duty. Someone should summon that orgy guy always asking those questions.
[–] tribblepuncher ago
Mine would be slang for especially dangerous crabs. The little things that punch your tribbles.
One of the symptoms would be constantly giving hammed-up, corny speeches with long pauses that are intended to be dramatic but look more stupid than anything after a few hours. Death would result when someone finally got sick of it and murdered you, which they would get away with as no jury would convict them.
Something involving continually having to point your "telescope" at Uranus.
[–] Lube-N-Blisters ago
Your skin would get oily then blister up and then you'd die.