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[–] gladiator69 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

An STD contracted by fellating or being fellated by Russell Crowe. So, worth it in my book.

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[–] CeepsNo 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Crawling from the ocean vents the ceeps, extremophiles resistant to heat, cold, pressure, and radiation spread throughout every ecosystem, flora and fauna and then do nothing. Whatever youll die eventually.

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[–] Jackal_Kisser 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

A deadly form of herpes, for the Jackal Kissers out there. Jackal herpes, the worst kind of herpes.

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[–] Morbo [S] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Might I recommend Herpex?

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[–] oozeling 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

Can't wait for @highly_paid_orgy_pro's answer to this.

Mine would presumably be some sort of boring leprosy offshoot.

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[–] 6151317? 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Electricity courses over your skin, electrifying your friends, loved ones, pets, and anyone who tries to help you as you slowly starve to death, unable to eat due to your inability to stop quoting the Talmud.

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[–] TheTrigger 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago  (edited ago)

You would turn in to your standard tumblr user overnight; there is no cure. You'd eventually die from obesity related bodily failures, as your weight would continue to increase exponentially— until death.

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[–] Morbo [S] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

It seems we've already hit pandemic proportions on this disease.

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[–] TheTrigger 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

I am efficient; unlike those afflicted.

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[–] moremetalguitar 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Index and pinkie finger become permanently extended, arms straight up in the air. Head begins to move rapidly up and down rhythmically. Eardrums spontaneously rupture.

Victim develops an irresistible urge to form mosh pits and crowd-surf.

Death results from exhaustion.

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[–] Morbo [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

And this is how Death Metal came to be. \ m /

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[–] TheKFCNyanCat 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago  (edited ago)

You'd start shitting colorful, painful diarrhea at a velocity that could potentially kill a man if you pointed it at them. Your taste buds would constantly taste fried chicken. Cats would be particularly adept at detecting this disorder (as they can with cancer,) and will often go out of their way to comfort someone with the disease. You'd die of extremely high blood pressure, as if you'd eaten too much KFC.

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[–] Morbo [S] 0 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago 

So basically all the same symptoms of eating at KFC but with cats mixed in.

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