[–] Whitelights 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
Triggered her to retake the course! Haha that's some top shitlording!
[–] Foreverbronze 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago (edited ago)
Pretty surprising actually. You gotta give it to them here. Being proactive with their health and signing up for the course to maximize the chance of immediate administration of CPR when they inevitably have a heart attack.
[–] TunaAndCucumbers [S] 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago
Fuck knows I wouldn't do it to 'em. I'd feign ignorance while franticly burning my card.
[–] Foreverbronze 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago
Any attempts would probably be fruitless anyhow. I think you would need the equivalent strength of a 495lb bench press to perform chest compressions and a 200CFM, 20 horsepower blower for mechanical ventilation of the lungs to adequately perform CPR on those blubber beasts
[–] Shitlord2016 0 points 15 points 15 points (+15|-0) ago
Well fuck, all we have to do is tell them they have to walk a reasonable distance and they'll kill themselves. Obesity epidemic solved!
[–] LetsBeNakedOutside 0 points 9 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago
A Trail of Buttery, Buttery Tears, of you will. ;)
[–] Shit_Lord_EatinGrin 0 points 10 points 10 points (+10|-0) ago
What's a six minute drive? 3 miles? There are people who can run 50 miles, walking three isn't exactly superhuman material
[–] MrSaxoBeetus 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
At Ragen Chestpain's pace, it'd take over an hour.
[–] damnbiker 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
No, but it's also not sub-human material. Walking three miles to a fat isn't the same as walking three miles to a human, even if there were a doughnut on the ground at 60 ft intervals, all the way. Eventually they'd get sleepy.