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[–] burntfishnchips 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

What the FUCK. I'm glad you're okay but wow, I would have shamed her to high noon. Try it after you recover and get back. Fats are literally children. Normal adults wouldn't go stampeding down the work aisle for cookies and cake.

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[–] sh1tl0rd_of_ac1d 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

I would also sue it for sexual assault.

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[–] SUPA_FUPA [S] ago 

Fats are mayogendered so can it really be considered sexual assault?

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[–] sh1tl0rd_of_ac1d 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Good point, but erring on the side of caution just to make its life miserable :)

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[–] ridsloth 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

I've been following your saga of Texas office hams for a while now, loving your disgusted perspective, and this is the sickest thing you've shared yet. Stay strong out there shitlord. Remember we can outrun them. Hope your face feels better soon.

From the way you've described your workplace, if I recall correctly, there's beetus everywhere at all times, so the obeast's excitement is even stupider.

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[–] SUPA_FUPA [S] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Yes and it's ridiculous! Obeasts will do anything for food even if it means stampeding their way for them and not caring if their udders knocked people over.

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[–] TunaAndCucumbers 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Could you have it charged with assault? I feel like you could have it charged with assault.

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[–] SUPA_FUPA [S] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

That would've been awesome but two things could happen sadly; my case would be marked as a frivolous lawsuit even though I never charged or sued anyone before or the judge would laugh themselves into oblivion which would lead things to nowhere.

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[–] Superior_Guhnetiks 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

How fat and gross do you have to be to knock someone off their chair with your disgusting cow tits and not let it slow your quest for beetus? I've met drug addicts with more dignity.

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[–] Unsung_Heroes_again 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

I have to apologize. I laughed at your plight when i read it. Was thinking shitlady wearing cat ears and tail and being smacked across the face by a cow's udders.

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[–] SUPA_FUPA [S] 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

LOL

I'm actually a skinny guy who likes wearing fox ears and tail but either way, that would've been hilarious and gross.

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[–] Unsung_Heroes_again 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

Please dont take this the wrong way.... but that got even funnier.

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[–] sonic_sabbath 0 points 17 points (+17|-0) ago 

Next time you go to work you should tell HR you feel unsafe or have trauma about working near the obeast and demand it be either fired or moved somewhere very very far away.

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[–] theJshow ago 

hahaha yes this. Tell HR the fat monster exploited you and created an unsafe working environment and you feel sexually abused.

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[–] SUPA_FUPA [S] 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Too bad my workplace has assigned seating and there are more obeast workers than there are humans. So my biggest worry is that I may be accused of "fat shaming" and I'll lose my job. Maybe I can pretend to be hot so I can change seating and get away with it that way.

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[–] LetsBeNakedOutside 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

Nah just keep using the words 'unsafe' and bring up the work comp dr appointment you already did and they had to pay for.

If they can't move you, they can at least switch to healthy food it won't get so excited.