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[–] Speshul_Sn0wflake 0 points 34 points (+34|-0) ago 

God, that first picture on the right is fucking horrid. It's like Kristen tries to look as ugly, old, and miserable as possible. Imagine my surprise when I found out "Deputy droopy Dog" is actually younger than me. If I put up a side by side comparison of us, you would never guess that I am the older one. I look like a pre-teen compared to that thing.

Now for her quote:

Yeah, my superpower is that I come with a built-in inner tube under my arms, which is really only useful against evil pools and/or water parks, so I mostly prefer the shape and structure a bra gives me.

Translation: "I have a second stomach that rests on top of my fupa, and I like to tell people I have big tits when infact I'm just wide, flat, and flabby. I call waterparks, pools and beaches "evil" because every time I am at one, they send out a crew from NOAA to come scoop me up in a net and bring me back to the ocean. I'm in so much debt from all the rescues they have performed, that I just got a second job at SeaWorld performing twice a day to pay it off."

Hi, we’re Kristin and Sheridan, and we both have generously sized boobies, whoops..

Translation: "Hi, we're two of the ten attention seeking fatties at buzzfeed. We have hardly any tits, but we have plenty of fat folds and lumps that we try to pass off as cleavage. We prefer bras because they push our folds of moldy lard upwards, but we're trying something different because $attenshun. They didn't have any that fit us, so they took the nets they used to rescue us in, and tied ropes to them so we could have makeshift bralettes. Is that a donut? I smell donuts..."

Seriously, look at this thing on the right. Da fuq? What is that? Where does its chin end and where the hell did it's neck go? Why the hell did she think that was a good face to make for the camera? Did it get a whiff of itself? If that isn't a candidate for "The Most Punchable Face Ever" then I don't know what is..

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[–] sh1tl0rd_of_ac1d 0 points 20 points (+20|-0) ago 

That Kristin is disgustingly flat-chested for how atrociously fat it is.

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[–] forklifts5x5 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Fats still cling to the DD/DDD cup size meaning 'big boobs' but its meaningless with the 40" torsotube.

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[–] Adi-opposed 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Stop. Stop I can't take any more. This is fucking gold, all of it.

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[–] Speshul_Sn0wflake 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

Haha thanks! I'm having one of those mornings and this just sent me over the edge... like look at that face! I can't stand her fucking face. Its horrendous. Glad I could make you laugh :)

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[–] sh1tl0rd_of_ac1d 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Seriously, look at this thing on the rightJPG. Da fuq? What is that?

I remember it from Fraggle Rock.

http://vignette2.wikia.nocookie.net/muppet/images/b/b8/Trash_heap.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20101120181311

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[–] Speshul_Sn0wflake 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

OMG I just pee'd a little I laughed so hard. I used to love Fraggle Rock, I don't know how I didn't make the comparison. Brilliant.

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[–] physicscat 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Oh dear god...I totally forgot this! Nostalgia!!!!

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[–] physicscat ago 

Yeah....they kept emphasizing they have big boobs....more like pendulous udders.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 25 points (+25|-0) ago 

[Deleted]

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[–] DayShaun 0 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago 

But, like a child, they take something you tell them not to do and become motivated to do it as a pathetic attempt at rebellion. Better to just mention how gross they look no matter what they put on.

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[–] slugsrgr8t 0 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago 

They don't even have proportionally "big" boobs either. Good lord...

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[–] FlowersByIrene 0 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago 

Exactly. She's a 40DD? I'm a 32DD. I'm not a mathematician but I'm pretty sure that make my breasts like 600% bigger than hers, proportionately. And mine are actually made out off breast tissue not Crisco.

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[–] muh_lard 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

add shorts to the list

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[–] proteinfordays 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

But wearing tight, revealing clothing is how they dismantle the Patriarchy, dontcha know?

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[–] rshackleford252525 0 points 21 points (+21|-0) ago 

generous boobage

fat sacks... you meant to say "fat sacks"

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[–] shart_in_a_fat_roll 0 points 19 points (+19|-0) ago 

Wow they're both fucking ugly but Kristin looks like the aftermath of a train wreck.

I refuse to accept that any woman reads this for any reason other than to see people uglier than themselves getting positive attention.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 18 points (+18|-0) ago  (edited ago)

[Deleted]

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[–] sh1tl0rd_of_ac1d 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

and it seems like it's... proud?

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[–] forklifts5x5 0 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago 

And the other as cupcakes. I didn't need pictures (or the 40in chest measurement!) to know these are going to be two whales. ugh

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[–] Papasmurfed262 0 points 12 points (+12|-0) ago 

I want to die after seeing that

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[–] TunaAndCucumbers 0 points 19 points (+19|-0) ago 

I want them to die after seeing that.

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[–] Papasmurfed262 0 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago 

I don't know though suicide would stop me from seeing even a picture of them again, or maybe I should just go blind like Stan smith.

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[–] MorticiaMarina 0 points 9 points (+9|-0) ago  (edited ago)

Ugh, god. That "Kristen"... Fats with faces so bad you question whether or not it's a sign of genetic mental retardation.

I wonder why fat women find other fat women who like Grumpy Cat appealing and relatable.

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[–] Fatkinisfat 0 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago 

Kristin looks like a pug with glasses... and also Drew Carey. I am so thankful for my beautiful genes right now, because no amount of weight loss can fix a Drew Carey face!

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[–] iammeandyouareme 1 point 6 points (+7|-1) ago 

That's an insult to pugs. Pugs are fucking adorable.

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[–] Fatkinisfat 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

You are absolutely correct. My apologies to pugs :-(

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