[–] Fambida 0 points 11 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago
A: yes.
B: The reason was not valid, and it taught me to no longer respect my dad. He held me against a wall by my throat, and I refrained from fighting back almost as much for his sake as for mine. Over the years I learned far worse reasons for him to not deserve my respect, and in hindsight I actually understand his behaviour in that case. I kinda hope I don't learn to understand more of his behaviour.
C: Smacking is an integral part of good parenting. It's not pleasant for anyone involved, but it's the quickest and easiest way to introduce a lesson about proper behaviour towards others until the kid grows up enough to figure it out on a deeper level than "being a little shithead gets me slapped".
[–] Chiefpacman 0 points 8 points 8 points (+8|-0) ago
When I was younger I was spanked with a board. All fine and good.
That said, family shouldn't raise a hand on one another as adults. Craziness insues. Should be avoided until last effort.
[–] Rottcodd 0 points 5 points 5 points (+5|-0) ago
Yes and yes.
I was spanked exactly twice when I was a kid - once for going up on the canal bank behind our house and once for playing with matches. With both, my parents decided, and rightly in my estimation, that those were things regarding which they could not simply try to reason with me and hope for the best - they had to make it crystal clear that I was NEVER to do those things again. They deliberately went to a form of punishment that they didn't normally use just so it would make a huge impression on me, and it did.
[–] FlowersByIrene 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
My mother slapped me in the face, spanked me and beat the shit out of me with a leather belt. I also had two abusive older brothers, who I can only assume were following her example.
Her reasoning was not valid. It was always over the top because my mom didn't know how to handle stress or embarrassment. Upset a neighbor's daughter? Better beat the shit out of you and make you sleep in the closet.
It changed me into being fearful of anger and confrontation, and I have zero self-esteem.
Bonus answer: I think parents can lightly smack or spank a kid when nothing else gets through. And this is a rare occurrence, not used frequently.
[–] Hey_Sunshine ago
Mom must have been very frustrated, was Dad around? Just trying to get a frame of reference on your situation, feel free to ignore.
[–] FlowersByIrene 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
He worked a lot. I'm not sure if he ignored it or really didn't realize how bad it was. She had/has poorly treated mental illness.
[–] 9876543210 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
My parents did. Most recent hit was my mother hitting me on the head because I told them I was leaving them. I had mostly psychological abusive parents, and would hit me once in a while.
One day I had enough of it and went to look for at rental places with my boyfriend(I am a girl) and we found one. I was still tied to my parents and hoped they would understand, but they threated to break my legs so I couldn't leave. When I went to leave they started hitting me. My boyfriend was also attacked by my father but thank god he held his temper(he would have kicked the shit out of my father, and I don't want to loose my bf). He asked me if I wanted to leave, I said yes on which he grabbed me and pushed us out of the house.
I have seen my parents only once more, when they waited on me at my work, but I could get away. From what I heard they still call/visit school(I have the email conversation they have with school) and they regulary visit my workplace and make a scene there, but mostly I am at work and they get dragged of by the security.
I am not the first to have this happen in the family, and I am glad they are out of my life. No one of my family has even tried to contact me, because they are all like this.....
[–] JJNova 2 points 11 points 13 points (+13|-2) ago
Smacking/spanking teaches that there are repercussions for actions. Some people think this teaches children to be violent, but when the alternative is for your child to keep running into the street, I take my chances.
[–] Tat_Tvam_Asi 7 points 1 point 8 points (+8|-7) ago
No, it means the parent cant figure out how to outsmart the situation and resorts to violence. That is the message passed to the child as well. Can't figure it out? Beat on it. This is what animals do.
[–] armday2day 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago
You're attempting to reason with a child. You can do your best but how do you expect to reason with someone who has limited intelligence and reasoning. "Don't do or a or b because it can lead to x or y, and that's a bad outcome" doesn't always get the point across.
[–] Crawdadie17 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
This is why kids are fit throwing faggots. I hope your sterile.