[–] Tat_Tvam_Asi 8 points 2 points 10 points (+10|-8) ago
Violence is used when cognitive ability runs out. The fact there are parents that have never struck their children is proof there is a way to never do it.
This does not mean parents that spank their children are bad. Just uneducated.
[–] Tat_Tvam_Asi 2 points -2 points 0 points (+0|-2) ago
Yes. I call what most parents do, violence.
[–] RedLeader 0 points 1 point 1 point (+1|-0) ago
Not every child is going to behave and learn and adapt the same way as the fortunate ones that don't require physical discipline. I thought like you once, but I've grown up and seen some shit in my lifetime. You're just flat out wrong on this one. I don't mean any malice toward you when I say that. It's just the truth I know from lots and lots of experience.
Physical discipline isn't the only form of discipline, and doesn't necessarily need to be the first resort.
[–] Tat_Tvam_Asi 2 points -2 points 0 points (+0|-2) ago (edited ago)
"Not every child is going to behave and learn and adapt the same way as the fortunate ones that don't require physical discipline."
Because the parents corrupted their perspective. Can this go so far where the only thing that is known to work is a spanking? Probably. That does not address the issue of how the child got there. it is up to the parents, at first.
The fortunate ones are the ones with the parents that do not spank them and have nothing but love for their kids. The ones with parents that has no problems with placing their children above their own emotional state each and every time.
Yes, spanking should be a last resort with the additional knowledge that you simply could not outsmart the situation.
[–] DigitalRefugee 1 point 4 points 5 points (+5|-1) ago
Good mentorship and leadership needs both the stick and the carrot.
The important thing is balance and appropriate measures of both.
[–] Tat_Tvam_Asi 3 points 0 points 3 points (+3|-3) ago
The key is to not get to that point. Children are smaller people with much less experience and knowledge and an under developed brain with a desire to learn and explore. They must make mistakes! All progress is based on making mistakes! Make them fear mistakes and they will focus on never making one. That ends with them never doing anything as an adult. Perhaps a life in jail.
[–] SocratesOP 1 point 9 points 10 points (+10|-1) ago
Educated parents can't spank their children? I'm not sure I see the connection. Pointing to the fact that some decent people were never spanked as kids doesn't say much because there are plenty of decent people who were spanked as children as well. Clearly not all children are the same and while some might never need spanked, some could benefit from a blunt lesson in actions and reactions.
Obviously you shouldn't beat your children aggressively with malicious intent, but a smack on the ass could go a long way for some kids. Educated or not
[–] WarGy 0 points 4 points 4 points (+4|-0) ago
Violence is a little bit like religion. Sure you can raise a kid to be a good person using both, but it's better to use reason so that you actually get a well adjusted, independent Person rather than a follower that caves to the first threats of violence or hints of 'divine revelation'.
[–] revofire 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
But parents do. I always see it when the parents are angry and want to take out that anger and frustration on the child that is misbehaving. Parents are worse than the children typically because when they have no EASY way out, they just go apeshit and call it a day. Yes it makes the child stop. No the child is not okay.
Want an example? I'll use an extreme analogy so there can be no mistakes in the interpretation. If a kid keeps stealing from your vendor's stall, how do you handle it? Here are two potential options: 1. You simply guard the stall and make sure he doesn't do it again, perhaps try and talk to him, perhaps find his parents, all kinds of options really. 2. You can kill the kid.
There are repercussions sure, but both have the same effect: He's not going to steal from you again.
See how that works? All the parents of the world use this as their defense for their failures of being a parent usually. They say it made him stop, but what else did it make him do? Helplessly submit to authority, make them sub-human with less free choice, etc. This creates the horribly brainwashed youth you see today, same goes for the adults too. Don't you see how they helplessly submit and rally behind absolute evil and lies? I do. I always wondered why and now I understand. They view police as 'authority'. The fuck's that mean? They're servants with a wage. That's all.
When a person actively makes the choice to stop own their own, they are 100x better off than any other case. But that's straying from my point. My point is that I call parents failures because they fail to do the most simple thing: lead by example. They're either never there or when they are, they don't do good by their kids or set a good example.
How's the picture make you feel? http://puu.sh/peyv0/2f0651f0b3.jpg Do you agree? Why or why not?
I know this for a fact that there are phases (quite long ones too) in a kid's life where they will follow the parents to all ends of the earth. They are watching silently (and sometimes not so silently) your every move and action and they will assemble those into full thoughts later. Just because you think a kid is too stupid to understand what you're doing now, doesn't mean they don't gather the information and assemble it later to reflect on it.
In the end, parents like to say they sacrificed so much but apparently not enough. Barely giving your kids enough money to go to an institution of indoctrination and citing having them as kids as the excuse that you did not become a success yourself is wrong. The parents totally could have forged a path through the world but they won't. They don't. And this is their fault.
Lead by example. Do NOT tell people to do what you will (not cannot, WILL) not do yourself.
This is super incoherent but don't attack me on that. Understand what I'm trying to say and realize the truth behind it.
[–] Tat_Tvam_Asi 4 points -3 points 1 point (+1|-4) ago
There are generations that have never felt the need to spank their children. This indicates it is in the parenting.
[–] Fambida 0 points 11 points 11 points (+11|-0) ago
A: yes.
B: The reason was not valid, and it taught me to no longer respect my dad. He held me against a wall by my throat, and I refrained from fighting back almost as much for his sake as for mine. Over the years I learned far worse reasons for him to not deserve my respect, and in hindsight I actually understand his behaviour in that case. I kinda hope I don't learn to understand more of his behaviour.
C: Smacking is an integral part of good parenting. It's not pleasant for anyone involved, but it's the quickest and easiest way to introduce a lesson about proper behaviour towards others until the kid grows up enough to figure it out on a deeper level than "being a little shithead gets me slapped".