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[–] Rakosman [S] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

I take 300mg of lamictal. It's not great, but it works for the most part. I am reluctant to try something else because this is one of the few that has (as far as I can tell) no side effects. Even at 300 I still get some mad swings if I'm under a lot of stress. I had a bad run with anti depressants last year, after which my meds got bumped to the 300, but I'm still not at a point where I can keep a job. Hell, I don't think I could be trusted to even keep a pet. Lately I've been focusing on getting healthy again. Running, weight training, better diet; theoretically sleep, too, but that's been proving to be a huge challenge. I've had a few people mention meditation to me. Maybe I'll try it one of these days.

I definitely feel you on the alcohol. Though, that's another thing I've been cutting back on. It usually ends up being either 1 pint, or several - no in between.

Anyways, I seriously doubt I'd survive for long if I weren't on meds. Even just the thought of going to some of those dark places freaks me out a little.

So are you on no meds, then? What all have you tried?

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[–] Rakosman [S] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Mine's only gotten worse with age. Looking back I can see that's it's always been there, but it wasn't until I was 21 that it sharply got worse. By the time I realized I had something abnormal going on my depressions were everything-but-suicidal, the "oh god please just let me die - no really, I mean it" stuff, and the mania was getting into some blurred reality delusions.

Now, I'd say I go from "got poor sleep and haven't had my coffee yet" to "I'm at an exciting party and had three energy drinks" though, there are a lot of subtleties like my anxiety levels and temperament that seem to cycle independently.