[–] Unsung_Heroes_again 0 points 2 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago
I had to throw my 2 cents in. Jesus fuck why would you ever contemplate this?
[–] burntfishnchips ago
Who would fuck anything nearing 300lbs? Pig fucker is just as bad as the yeastbeast.
[–] Carsandsarcasm 0 points 6 points 6 points (+6|-0) ago
Choose a wall that's about a 2000km walk away. That should do it.
[–] theepilepticferret 0 points 27 points 27 points (+27|-0) ago (edited ago)
OP, this is a common problem. The best solution that I've found is progressive overload. It works for lifting, and it works for sex.
The concept is simple. Start light, and add weight every week. You'll want to find a girl that's around 100 lbs or so. Any smaller and you probably won't get much benefit. The first night, have sex with her three times against the wall. Repeat for two more nights, but make sure you rest for at least a day between sessions.
The next week, move up to a girl that's 110. Keep finding a heavier girl each week. Before you know it, you'll be able to have sex with your girlfriend holding her up against the wall.
Good luck OP.
Whichever one of you glorious shitlords did this, you are a genius
[–] shitonfatpeople 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago
Your words are too kind. But thank you.
[–] Sellyoulight 1 point 0 points 1 point (+1|-1) ago
I think even the slings that the sex toy vendors sell for this kind of application have user weight limits that top out well under 240 lbs. Why don’t you just trade her in for two 120 lb chicks?
[–] [deleted] 0 points 7 points 7 points (+7|-0) ago
[–] RandomAXEofKindness 0 points 3 points 3 points (+3|-0) ago
Pork lift?