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[–] thinANDintelligent ago 

Well, now I'm blushing... I should have Irish'd it up a bit and called her an feckin' eejit or a langer... :D

I actually can't think of any other way to say "rooted her to the ground" or "nettle rash" in English. The aforementioned blushing is probably affecting that though. And I didn't want to imply my niece literally shit herself...

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[–] ShitlordLovesOreos 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

No need to blush. Haha. I enjoyed all the Englishisms. To translate I'd probably say something like (in order):

  • Froze in place.
  • Hives
  • Neighbor
  • Was so frightened
  • Shot him due to "stand your ground" laws in the south (American gun laws joke)

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[–] thinANDintelligent 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

From blushing to snort laughing. I am making myself out to be a real princess :D

The fair shoulder comment was an "Irishism" though, I'm sure of it :D At least, I was sure until you didn't point it out! Do you say that in America too?