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[–] BingerFeardofGury ago 

Some times you just have to pick a direction and go. Since you aren't under financial pressure to return to work, if I were you, I'd come up with some occupations that I would like to try and start doing them. what would you do if you won the lotto? Do that.

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[–] Kromulent ago  (edited ago)

I think of it like walking along a stone path in a thick fog. You can barely make out the next foot stone, but after you take that step, then you can see the next one.

You don't want to go through life like that in general, of course - it's so much better to look ahead! - but sometimes you just can't see, so you just take the very next small step that seems sensible, and take the next step after that. After a while it always clears up.

[–] [deleted] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago  (edited ago)

[Deleted]

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[–] JeepGuy79 [S] 0 points 1 point (+1|-0) ago 

Academics were never my strong suit. I always struggled in school and when the time for college rolled around...I made it one semester before I realized that the "traditional" path was not for me. That's when I looked into a skilled trade. I took on a two year apprenticeship with a local real estate appraiser to learn the in's and out's of appraising. For many years I was super successful, was able to work from home, I dictated my own schedule, everything was perfect. Then 2008 happened and the bottom fell out of the local real estate market here in Arizona. 2009 was horrible but I managed to survive while my wife was building her business. From 2010-2015 things got gradually worse for me. Lenders started demanding faster turn around times for lower fees, all my work was being reviewed by countless underwriters, loan officers, homeowners, etc. Then regulations started changing and banks started requiring that you had to be "certified" to complete appraisals and that cut me off from doing appraisals for FHA loans, which I had been doing for years anyways. Then came Appraisal Management Companies(AMC). The invention of AMC's cut me off from directly marketing my services directly to lenders. Now instead of building personal relationships with local lenders, it was illegal for me to even talk to them directly. Everything had to be run through the AMC which was a middle man that handled communication between the lender and myself. All of a sudden over half of my business vanished in literally one day and I just became a name on a list.

It became too expensive to maintain memberships for local MLS systems and liability insurance because the fees had been driven so low it was not feasible for me to stay in the game. I loved that job and when I first started out, it seemed like it was a rock solid career choice. How quickly it all changed. I don't feel bad about being a stay at home parent. I love my wife and kids more than words could ever explain. I like teaching the fitness classes at the dance studio but I don't know how much longer the owner will allow me to do it. I'm still not sure if going the personal trainer route is right for me. I'm not an in your face alpha kind of guy most gyms are looking for, and I hate selling shit to people. I keep fit, but I'm not that hardcore about exercise. It's important and necessary but that's not my main focus. I think you're right though, I need to figure out what motivates me and that's the problem I'm having. I was in the same routine for so long and now over the last six months things have been very fluid and ever changing. I guess it's just baby steps at this point. I've got so many things rushing around in my head all the time it's hard to concentrate on just one thing. So maybe I'll start putting things down on paper and see what comes out. I know this was rambling....but thanks for your time!

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[–] ABACABB ago 

Keep your head up. The first few months after pot are going to play some tricks on you. Did the crazy dreams go away yet? Your brain is just readjusting to different stimulus. I found exercise is a good way to curb that bored/sad feeling in the months after quitting.

As for a job you said the family is fine on your wife's salary. That's a great thing to have so cherish it. This allows you to find something you actually like to do. Then you need to find out how to make money off of it. Or just be happy being a dad.

Shit I'm jealous as fuck that you get to stay home with kids and the house. And that leads me to answer your question. When I'm in transitional periods trying to figure out the next step I take a different perspective. Not just one different perspective but many. Often time this will lead me realizing where I'm at is just fine or push me towards something new. Take your parents perspective--wife's, kids, buddies' perspective. It may lead you to a new exciting place or make you appreciate the wonderful life you've built.

Now go drink a beer and mow the lawn!

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[–] JeepGuy79 [S] ago 

I've got fake grass in the yard...there's no real grass in the desert man! The dreams have gotten better...but still really vivid and crazy sometimes. I will start looking at things from a different angle. Thanks for the kind words and good advice!

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[–] ABACABB ago 

What kind do you have? I've been thinking of getting the fake stuff but worried about it getting too hot to walk on bare foot in the summer. Is that the case with it?

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[–] twentyfive ago 

Set some goals, hit them.

Physically it could be your abstinence from the pot.

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[–] JeepGuy79 [S] 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago 

Wow everyone!! I love all the responses and some of you have opened my eyes as to what some possible options could be. I did fail to mention that I teach a group fitness class at the local dance studio in my neighborhood (I'm semi-rural, closest gym is 18 miles). That has helped me feel fantastic in a physical way and to some degree mental too. I've got my group of stay at home moms that come bust ass with me 3x a week and we crush P90X Live! and Insanity Live! workouts.

It's my spouse who's been nudging me to got get a "real" job as my youngest will be out of 1/2 day kindergarten and into full day schedule after summer. While we manage our bills ok on her salary, she wants more cash coming in and I barely make anything teaching class. I'm pressured into finding something. I just wish it was all laid out in front of me.

While I'm not going to acknowledge specific voaters, cause mobile typing blows......your comments have helped and after a rather sleepless night I have some new ideas....now it's time to go make breakfast before everyone wakes up and we rush out the door for soccer games!!! Cheers.

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[–] Lag-wagon ago 

Welcome to the club

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[–] SaneGoatiSwear 0 points 2 points (+2|-0) ago  (edited ago)

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